You know those people you can’t imagine ever saying, “you know—–you may be right!” or, “Huh, I never thought of it that way…..that’s a good point!” Certainty freaks…..Their version of things is THE version. Nothing in them is teachable….

I could go thru a bunch of stories, wagging my tail, eager to please, all in a…

Look you guys——

all of u that r shocked & seemingly upset about my weight—–

I might be more upset than you are, (can’t tell sometimes—–obviously more of u r SHOCKED about my weight—–can’t say I’m USED to it, but hardly SHOCKED by now…..)

Contrary to appearances, I’m busting my bovine ass to lose weight to avoid some…

People come to the show expecting to see Carrie Fisher…..if only we could agree about who she actually is…..then we’d all know who it was that turned up on stage admitting & declaring things left & right! Things that become less true as soon as she says them…..Especially when she makes fun of these things—–which…

Someone twittered that I should give up acting after seeing my ‘efforts’ in “Sorority Row”………

Funny that they haven’t noticed that I basically HAVE!  But I’ll try to make a real effort from here on out to stay off celluloid. I don’t think it will take much effort. Also, it was suggested that I look Yoda’s…

You guys, I just read a bunch of your posts and I have to say……….you’re all pretty much incredibly awesome.

Not even pretty much. Beautiful much. Much to the 9th power. SympatiCo. Kindred. I’ve come to find (on all fours) that if you talk to people with the best of yourself, you tend to get the…

Okay, gang, I’m totally sorry I said that shit that turned up on TV…..it’s inexcusable, though—-being human, I will attempt to illustrate how this happened…..that I said such an asinine thing.

So these creepy stalkerazzi were hovering around outside of that new-found den of iniquity, Mickey Fine Pharmacy, & a few of them followed me to…

I know i don’t really have the right to ask……I’m a public figure——Ive made an unspoken contract to keep that figure slim…….but still, I find myself wondering…….See, I think the folks that insult & mock celebrities who DARE to pack on ten pounds or—–God forbid——MORE than ten!…..I would think it only fair that they post a photo of themselves along with their poisonous observations! And you know what else would be SUPER cool??? Their IQ! ALL the numbers! An approximate count of Weight AND wisdom!

Yes, I’ve neglected my blog/obligations, but you’re in excellent company. My editor and publisher are clamoring for chapters and book titles and reassurance, oh my! And I’ve fallen WAY behind on a backlog of emails. Each day, I guiltily face the firing squad of communiques awaiting me online……., and after cowardly cringing before the sinister…

Since my last post I have been beset by requests to appear on all these Michael obsessed shows to talk about my “relationship” with Michael…. You know—- provide additional inside dope & insights on poor Michael’s untimely death & overly scrutinized life. Preferably they could get me to reflect on all this while sobbing. I…

Hello to one and all!

Tis I! Your intermittent blogmeister, back to provide you with inside information on The Late Michael Jackson. I was friendly with Michael. I believe that he considered us to be friends.

Micheal Jackson reading Carrie Fisher's Whishul Drinking

I visited him over the Christmas holiday at that weirdly expensive rental home somewhere here…