Carrie, you would love reading Criggo. It features unintentionally funny clippings from newspapers, like “Condom truck tips, spills load.” Check it out at http://criggo.wordpress.com/ .
I love all the embellishments this story has picked up along the way:
“The vets said it was the first time the hefty vegetarian had ever eaten a circus performer. Her keeper commented that although Hilda had a slight weight problem, she was on a strict diet which did not include dwarves.
Police said the trampoline had been sent for forensic analysis on pretense that it might be faulty. The Police commented that there is no evidence to support a suicide by the circus performer despite his past history of alcoholism.
The vets have administered a laxative to the Hippopotamus in order to speed the recovery of the circus performer’s remains.”
I wouldn’t want to be an audience member at that… I’d probably assume it was part of the act until I read it in the paper the next day. And even then I’d probably think it was just comedic devotion.
That’s an awful way to go (most of the ways to go are, of course).
I think the ‘putting the head in the lion’s mouth’ bit is going to look pretty lame from now on.
PS. I arrived here via Americablog.
BTW some Trivia for Ms Fisher ( and Star Wars fans) :
Whilst visiting American relatives in Autumn of ‘77 I took the opportunity to see Star Wars (in Annapolis, MD) .
Though much had been written about its box-office takings, special effects, and the fact that Alec Guinness was earning more money from the movie than he had earned in his entire career, to the best of my knowledge the UK press had not yet written an actual review of the film at that time.
I think there was some kind of professional agreement in play that UK movie critics would not publish until just before the UK release which was slated for around Christmas.
However as a writer for my ‘unofficial’ school magazine (called The Griffin) I was free to publish and be damned and so I did. I suspect my review was the first to be printed in the UK ( with illustrations painstakingly traced from publicity photos and the whole reproduced on a Gestetner machine).
As the magazine was inherently sarcastic and satiric I was obliged to mock the movie (and particularly Princess Leia) , even though I really enjoyed it.
Still. I did manage a grudging recommendation (how could I not?) and clearly I didn’t hurt the box-office returns as the readership was just 400 schoolboys and 100 schoolgirls.
It wasn’t Star Wars that made me an admirer of yours ( quite the opposite! , but your work since ( Blues Brothers, Austin Powers, Postcards From the Edge etc.) and I’ll close this by saying .stick to your own advice about blogging—satisfy yourself first and definitely don’t feel pressured to write every damn day.
Wouldn’t the gag reflex have made her throw him up? (Especially if she’s a vegetarian.) Or do they mena gag as in joke, in which case, the gag reflex operated to liven up the show…
Od? That’s odd. According to ancient Siamese myth a dwarf is swallowed by a hippo in the Chao Praya. The dwarf, always named Od (can you believe it?) is then defecated three days later (it’s always 3 days), alive! But has been made an albino by the gastric acids. According to the myth he is then given by the King a “G” to add to his name, making him a GOd. The creation of a GOd occurs every 900 years. This is the first trampoline-assisted creation. GOds can reputedly cure genital herpes and know winning Lotto numbers.
I used this story on my radio show. A listener “snoped” the story and found it to be false. Awesomely cool story though! By the way, I ALWAYS had a crush on your mother! And I’m just 48 now! It was a toss-up between your mom and Doris Day. It’s quite possible I have a crush on you, now! Oh well!
Yeah, because the media in Bankok is so reliable. Until I see it in Snopes, color me skeptical.
W
Er, “Bangkok”. I must have been thinking about the economic crisis..
W
Damn!–not ANOTHER hippo-swallows-dwarf story!!
Happened to me once.
Now that’s a clipping I’d have to carry in my wallet.
Linda beat me, but “Not again?!?!” *was* the first thing to come to mind.
cf.com is officially on my “must check” list.
Carrie, you would love reading Criggo. It features unintentionally funny clippings from newspapers, like “Condom truck tips, spills load.” Check it out at http://criggo.wordpress.com/ .
Looks like a headline from The Onion…or a new program on the FOX network.
I guess all news editors from now on will be on the lookout for the proverbial “Dwarf Swallows Hippo” story. Now, THAT’S news!
Saints preserve Obscurists (and Obscurantists) everywhere.
Best,
Bruce Bellingham
San Francisco
WOW. I think that covers it….yup. WOW.
I love your blog! Thank you for continuing to write and share your thoughts with us on an (almost) daily basis.
I couldn’t believe the hippo/dwarf story. I couldn’t believe it so much that I looked it up on snopes.com and it was there:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/hippoeatsdwarf.asp
I love all the embellishments this story has picked up along the way:
“The vets said it was the first time the hefty vegetarian had ever eaten a circus performer. Her keeper commented that although Hilda had a slight weight problem, she was on a strict diet which did not include dwarves.
Police said the trampoline had been sent for forensic analysis on pretense that it might be faulty. The Police commented that there is no evidence to support a suicide by the circus performer despite his past history of alcoholism.
The vets have administered a laxative to the Hippopotamus in order to speed the recovery of the circus performer’s remains.”
I wish I’d written those lines myself.
I think there’s a dwarf-tossing joke in there somewhere, but I’m too tired to find it.
I wouldn’t want to be an audience member at that… I’d probably assume it was part of the act until I read it in the paper the next day. And even then I’d probably think it was just comedic devotion.
I thought Hippos were vegetarians…
That is so sad! That poor little person. I can’t imagine how frightening that was. I hope this isn’t true.
It was a fake headline made for the Ricky Gervais podcast and used to fool Karl Pilkington.
It was the gag reflex! I HATE the GAG REFLEX! Nothing GOOD ever comes from the GAG REFLEX!
I am suprised that after the dwarf went in the hippo’s mouth 15 more dwarves didnt come running out
That’s an awful way to go (most of the ways to go are, of course).
I think the ‘putting the head in the lion’s mouth’ bit is going to look pretty lame from now on.
PS. I arrived here via Americablog.
BTW some Trivia for Ms Fisher ( and Star Wars fans) :
Whilst visiting American relatives in Autumn of ‘77 I took the opportunity to see Star Wars (in Annapolis, MD) .
Though much had been written about its box-office takings, special effects, and the fact that Alec Guinness was earning more money from the movie than he had earned in his entire career, to the best of my knowledge the UK press had not yet written an actual review of the film at that time.
I think there was some kind of professional agreement in play that UK movie critics would not publish until just before the UK release which was slated for around Christmas.
However as a writer for my ‘unofficial’ school magazine (called The Griffin) I was free to publish and be damned and so I did. I suspect my review was the first to be printed in the UK ( with illustrations painstakingly traced from publicity photos and the whole reproduced on a Gestetner machine).
As the magazine was inherently sarcastic and satiric I was obliged to mock the movie (and particularly Princess Leia) , even though I really enjoyed it.
Still. I did manage a grudging recommendation (how could I not?) and clearly I didn’t hurt the box-office returns as the readership was just 400 schoolboys and 100 schoolgirls.
It wasn’t Star Wars that made me an admirer of yours ( quite the opposite! , but your work since ( Blues Brothers, Austin Powers, Postcards From the Edge etc.) and I’ll close this by saying .stick to your own advice about blogging—satisfy yourself first and definitely don’t feel pressured to write every damn day.
Best wishes.
Actually, the elephant was named, “CEO”, and the poor dwarf
was named, “Tax Dollars”.
Just a natural result, if you ask me.
Completely foreseeable.
I’m pretty sure Lewis Black mentioned this on his “Anticipation” album, which came out last year. Check out Track 10, “A Great Headline”.
Is there a video?
Huh. When I have a gag reflex, I usually throw up, not swallow. Lucky hippos.
Wouldn’t the gag reflex have made her throw him up? (Especially if she’s a vegetarian.) Or do they mena gag as in joke, in which case, the gag reflex operated to liven up the show…
Didn’t that happen years ago on one of Johnny Carson”s wild animal segments? As I remember, it really broke up Ed McMann.
“Hippo eats dwarf” is a hoax. You can check at the snopes.com website:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/hippoeatsdwarf.asp
Od? That’s odd. According to ancient Siamese myth a dwarf is swallowed by a hippo in the Chao Praya. The dwarf, always named Od (can you believe it?) is then defecated three days later (it’s always 3 days), alive! But has been made an albino by the gastric acids. According to the myth he is then given by the King a “G” to add to his name, making him a GOd. The creation of a GOd occurs every 900 years. This is the first trampoline-assisted creation. GOds can reputedly cure genital herpes and know winning Lotto numbers.
Check the Thai papers in a few days.
mmm… soylent green
I wonder if the hippo pooped a skeleton?
was interesting. You seem very knowledgeable in natural laxative.
[...] Hippo eats dwarf! No, really. [...]
That’s one hell of a gag-reflex…
“I really didn’t mean to eat that dwarf…”
Where’s the obligatory “Ta-Daaaa!” ?
There is obviously a lot to know about laxative list. I think you made some good points in
Hello webmaster You did a great job with this blog. I loved
Shame the Hippo didn’t swear, then the headline could have read “Dwarf swalllowed by Hippo-Pottymouth.”
I used this story on my radio show. A listener “snoped” the story and found it to be false. Awesomely cool story though! By the way, I ALWAYS had a crush on your mother! And I’m just 48 now! It was a toss-up between your mom and Doris Day. It’s quite possible I have a crush on you, now! Oh well!
Hello was very well written. Good job.
Hello webmaster was very well written. Good job.
I love the news!
I think you did a great job writing . Bravo.
I loved !
I am not sure I totally agree with
Nice job. I completely agree with you.
This is the best post I ever read,I’ll stumble this one, thx!
Hello. Great job. I did not expect this on a day. This is a great story. Thanks!
I wish getting over Herpes can be so easy as following a few steps.. but its not
All we actually have is our body and its muscles that allow us to be under our own power.
I know just what you mean about concentration, it makes a WORLD of difference. Great suggestion.