Trails and Tales
By Carrie • Apr 10th, 2009 • Category: NewsLoyal tribe members and assorted magic people,
Well, I finally feel like I’m on the verge of settling in here in Seattle. We opened. I did some press. And now I can do something else other than show related activities. (not that I don’t enjoy doing the show!)
I’ve been slowly getting accustomed to the lay of the land here, wandering wise, shopping unwise and other.
Carrie Fisher at Experience Music Project
(other being The Music Experience and Science Fiction something or other—-which tragically didn’t have my bobble head in the gift shop. They DID, however, have a very disturbing John Lennon motion activated doll, which was probably invented by the same person who innovated hands free toilet flushing—-an invention I don’t know HOW I lived without. All those years of having to turn slightly and flush a toilet with my delicate, over worked hand——how I endured that I’ll NEVER know!)
They have FANTASTIC glass shops here. With giant red apples, bigger than the biggest head, bloated with arrogance. Beautiful sinks, big black crows, multi colored lights and flowers. You get the idea.
Thanks to all of you for your praise and encouragement. It means a lot to me. Seattle is a little on the conservative side it seems, and many nights I find myself with miserable men, infuriated at being dragged to my show by their wives. I try to avoid focusing on them, but their unhappiness is sometimes radio active, and one cannot help but periodically checking in on their misery.
I know, I know—–don’t let the bastards get you down. I’ve been instructed to adopt that point of view over and over by well meaning producers and theater owners and the darling other men who’ve been with the show since the beginning. Garret, (known to you as the engineer of my elsewheres or my magicians apprentice) and Jamie and Daniel—- producer & road manager all. But my question is, HOW??????? How do you ignore criticism and put it into perspective within the hour?
Debbie Reynolds
My mother always said to me, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, dear!” and I wanted to say, “Oh, okay! Then I won’t! I thought that it was a good thing to rough yourself up, but you say it’s not, so I’ll just stop! Thanks for the tip!”
I’ve just never seemed to be able to apply the old adage, “You can’t please all the people all the time.” Of course you can’t. And if it REALLY gets to you, then to go into show business is one of the worst choices you could make. Especially choosing to do a show where you bare something very like your soul. Now I know this is another one of those nose bleed high class problems. And its hard to expect too much sympathy when its no one else but me that’s put myself out there, blathering on and on about feelings and revealing things that most would spend their lives keeping to themselves. I’m not asking for sympathy! I’m asking for tips! Do any of you have any tricks to taking criticism ——or better still—-NOT taking it!
I’m guessing though that there’s no way to get through this life without criticism or it’s trickier cohort, rejection. Learning from these things is an option, I suppose. Remaining teachable. Maybe they have a point. That’s that higher class form of criticism I’ve heard referred to as, “constructive’……….how do you tell the difference? Is there a criticism richter test? A kind of pregnancy test that gauges whether voiced or silent disapproval is worth considering or the kind that comes more from people that have simply had a bad day?
I have an interim solution I’m working on for those who come to my show and find it offensive. I can supply them with a drink voucher and ear plugs. And for special cases, a copy of the book, “Wetlands”, which makes my material look like a church sermon.
ANYWAY, enough overly excessive pondering.
I hope you all are having glorious, sunny days, and not taking too much to heart or letting those bastards get you down………..
Other than most of the above………I realize I have truck loads of things to be thankful for. And, other than at the very, very unusual interval………I am, I am, I yam!
My sponsor said that the short way of saying the serenity prayer is, “FUCK ‘EM” So that’s one solution…..
And, of course, Father Tom’s amazing reminder than, “You’ve done hard before!” And who of us hasn’t done hard before? Actually, that’s a real question. Have any of you out there not done hard before? Hellooooooooooooo?!
Til next time………..Happy Trails and Tales………
Carrie Frances
Saw your show tonight. Loved it.
I was disappointed about one thing. Matt was a no-show at intermission, so I never got an autograph on my program. Maybe you can sign one for me.
PS What was like drinking poison and waithing for the other person to die?
Carrie, I saw the show Saturday night and you were fabulous. It was more entertaining than I expected. I just read a book, Brain Rules, by a Seattle brain scientist and he says you should grab an audience with emotion and use visual aids to keep a crowd’s attention. You did just that with the info about Mr. Steven’s death and the great visual props. I appreciate you being real and sharing yourself. I left the show with a smile on my face, thinking that you are a great story teller.
From the Conversation last night at the Rep I am sorry to hear that someone in the crowd was a jerk. However, it sounds like you handled it well on stage, so he was the one that looked bad. I wish I had some advice about when the “bastards get me down” but I just get irritable bowls and can’t sleep because I’m so worked up!
Thank you for coming to Seattle!
hi carrie,
this is a sort of conservative town. always bums me out. i put myself out there to and some of the feedback i get really upsets me and then i wonder why i keep expressing such personal things but i gotta express it out…i make a weekly public access tv show and have been doing it weekly for 13 years so far and i cannot seem to stop! something drives me to express through my artwork that i cannot seem to do in my personal life as well.
it’s bizarre to me that people would come to your show and cringe or whatever they do and not realize it would upset you- that you are a person just like them putting yourself on stage and pouring yourself out there and sharing with us and not have the respect to either learn to open up to appreciating you or simply not come in the first place! if we all had more compassion i suppose this would help heal this problem…
i love your show. saw it once and will see it again this time with my dad who thinks you are wonderfully honest and brave and strong and extremely funny.
i’m very moody and have dealt with mental health issues very intensely over the years (i am 40 now) i think most talented people are highly sensitive and this is why so many great creatives deal with mental issues…then being judged for being different by an audience only makes the mental stress more intense and amplifies etc …
seeing your show totally made me feel great for hours after! thanks for baring your soul and turning the pain into humour and connection…
i really appreciate you coming to seattle and doing your show and i hope the audiences get better and appreciate you more…and that you could learn the magic trick to not letting the bastards get you down… (i don’t know it!)
be yourself no matter what they say…, shannon
Hi again
how to take criticism, well if you figure it out can you let us all know cos that’d be great…..
but having come from a family who wanted me to be very sporty and academic while I went into theatre and music, I often feel like my entire life is just one massive string of so called ‘constructive criticism’ which has basically told me that every decision i’ve ever made has been wrong…. like I don’t KNOW my life’s a bit wierd anyway without all the criticism….oh and then there’s all the clients and directors etc etc who think that the stage management and crew are basically slaves….. anyway you don’t need to know all this but my point is, i know what you mean about criticism, and i’ve figured the best way to deal with it is pretty much to ignore it unless it’s actually someone being useful and giving you actual advice rather than just whinging.
i know that’s really hard, and i’m still not great at it, but i think it’s a practiced art – you just have to know that you’re not hurting anyone, you’re having a great time and loads of people really do appreciate all the work you’re doing, it’s just that the minority of whingers have a habit of being really vocal or just looking really bored and obvious…. and at the end of the day, they have come to see your show, so what do they expect? so yeah, basically, screw ‘em and concentrate on all the people that are having fun and know that there’s loads of us out here who would come to see if it was a bit closer to home or we could get enough time off work for the bloody long flight…..
have a great rest of show!!!
sarah
Ms Fisher,
I’ve found that vocalising, in private, one’s frustrations with anything to be very constructive. When I don’t, I usually wind up grinding my teeth a spike in my blood pressure. I was going to add more, but I started to sound like a bad self help book. Good luck with the rest of your run,
I was one of the lucky few males to test my testosterone on stage at your show opening night…and, as far as from my perspective, the best way of dealing with criticism is to take it, apply the reality of it, and move right on past it. There is far too much good just waiting for you to find to let the little critics eat at you…cause they are everywhere. You are great, your show is great. And if at the end of the day you feel great about what you are doing out there…then why let anyone else lead you away from that?
CT
Carrie, I try to keep the attitude of “if they don’t like me, it’s their loss.” It’s hard sometimes, especially when someone actually doesn’t like you, but I try to remember that their feelings about me don’t have any effect on my daily life, and they spend far less time thinking about it than I do, so it’s not worth expending any energy over it. I have enough angst already. Geez, I wish I’d figured that out in high school!
Those of us who enjoy your work and your words send enough positive vibes to cancel out all the negative, anyway. Thank you for sharing with us.
I think it is just terrible that there are people who’d come to your show and not enjoy themselves…these husbands probably only know you through those three little movies you did early in your career. You know what, who cares about their opinion and criticism. I’m sure for every one of these people who were taken to your show against their will, you have a hundred there who are your ‘loyal tribe members’. Your sponsor has the best advice: “Fuck Em”.
And what kind of science fiction thingy doesn’t have the Leia bobble head doll….I actually saw it once, but didn’t buy it….should have because my brother’s girlfriend bought me the Han Solo one…now he’s all alone.
Speaking of toys, have you seen the Galactic Heroes? I think they’re the cutest things ever.
good luck carrie
Hi Carrie,
How are you? Hope you like Seattle, my sister lives in the Olympia Area and loves it. I am on the other side of the country in PA. Anyway, I saw your question on constructive criticism vs regular criticism. I think the difference is that constructive is given by someone that wants to help you so you get better, could be a manager at a job, or whatever. Whereas, regular criticism is given not to help you, just tell it like it is, to bitch. The challenge is knowing the difference. If it is constructive, for me, I try to evaluate the criticism and see if it is true and then take action. If it is not constructive, ignore it. How to tell the difference is to consider the source. Well, take care of yourself.
Best Regards,
David
I didn’t get to be 65 years old worrying about what people thought of me…you can borrow my motto if you like…fuckem’ all but 6 and save them for pall bearers….I think that by your surving your life you have earned the right to tell people to fuck off …and where do women get the idea that it’s ok to drag husbands off to do something they enjoy but the husband will hate?..wife should go see carrie and give the husband the chance to go to hooters for burgers and beer…
I started keeping a file of quotes I like years ago and the first one I typed in was: “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.” –Bette Midler
One way I deal with criticism is to blog about it….
http://sueprano.livejournal.com/168813.html
Doesn’t help much as a short-term solution, I suppose: “Ladies and Gentlemen, intermission will be extended tonight so that Ms. Fisher can compose a blog response to the gentleman in the third row who is not enjoying himself.” (But what a bonus for us readers that would be!) In a way, that’s what I was doing when I was having the conversation with the dead-zone guy; as I was nodding, I found myself thinking, “dude, you are SO going into my blog.”
Personally, I can’t help but scratch my head over folks being offended by your show; how could they not know that you were going to be your frank and wonderful self? If they couldn’t figure that out before they walked through the theater door then, really, they are the ones with the problem to correct, not you.
Best wishes for curmudgeon-free houses for the rest of your run!
Every time I find myself on stage, I automatically think everyone in the audience will, at any moment, turn into That Guy, and hurl insults at me, or say I’m just plain bad. It takes a special kind of person to criticize someone when they are at their most vulnerable. Even if someone’s opinion could be taken constructively, if they convey it to me in a rude manner, I just shut it out. I’m not sure where that comes from, I am afraid. I smile, interject some sarcasm, and focus on the people that I know who support me, and I know will be honest with me in a kinder manner. If I can find a way to share this with you, this warped form of ‘confidence’, although that’s not quite what it is, I will gladly do so. Maybe a magic machine like ECT, only instead of electric impulses, you’ll receive the ability to brush it all off without batting an eye or giving it another thought. I actually get more upset when something like that happens to someone I care about. I get very mama bear protective, as if they are made of glass and cannot take care of themselves. I guess that makes me a gardener, as opposed to a flower.
Speaking of Leia like toys, someone on the internet made a My Little Pony into Slave Leia. Have you seen that? Not a mass market thing, I am afraid. It’s quite well done, although I think the film would have been much different if a pony were chained to Jabba…..
And in conclusion, the days were not so gloriously sunny here in Hollywood this week. Did you send the rain down here???
Ericka
You are now, also, a Peep. Happy Easter.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/gallery/070402/GAL-07Apr02-69859/index.html
I suppose the number one thing I try to do is, remind myself over and over of WHERE people are coming from, when they are harsh or overly critical or the need to constantly criticize everything or everyone; I remind myself they’re coming from a place of anger or fear, fear of rejection, fear you might prove them wrong, so they dismiss you before you get going with your point.
I remind myself everyone is a little nervous, a little shy, a little insecure at least, and at least everyone wants to be right don’t they, or loved, or accepted, needed, wanted and touched but not everyone knows how to deal with these fears and needs and wants. And those of us who don’t fear the truth most of the time, in fact are strengthened by the truth because our Emotions depend upon it, are often attacked by those whom do not want the truth exposed, ever.
So the Brighter the Light, the Deeper the Dark and thus a lot of people don’t want to see or know the deep dark so attempt to turn out the light, aka, Your Truth.
I’m referring mostly to negative, harsh criticism. So with ‘constructive criticism’ I’d say that should be asked for, or in serious necessity because you might seem clueless to what ever fact is in question, and it should be brought up by someone you love and whom loves you. A friend for instance. But not just any asshole off the street. And it should be given with compassion. But again, depends. . .
If you have assholes in the audience, try teaching yourself WHEN NOT ON STAGE, that what you might perceive from an asshole, might be an illusion. He might be fantasizing about you and he making love but doesn’t want anyone to read it in his face so hides it behind a scowl. Why not?
Good LucK
Love and Light Carrie!
I “dragged” my husband to see your show about a year and a half ago. He did not expect to like it all, but ended up loving it.
You are a fantastic storyteller, you always have been. The critics are very very hard to take. I get it. As far as the blog goes, have the comments sent to someone else and let them delete the shitty stuff.
I have had too many people tell me, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” They mean well, but they just don’t get it. That inner dialog is so brutal there is nothing that anyone else, outside my head, could ever say that might be worse. I feel like, for that reason alone, they should just shut the fuck up. I don’t need it, it just slows me down.
Don’t let it slow you down as well.
Thank you for continuing to bear “something close to your soul.” There are so very many of us that appreciate it.
Funny, my sponsor said that same basic thing to me once! How true it is. Are you sure you aren’t a double winner? You know, I think a few of us would be more than happy to hang out in the rafters some night and pick off the grumpy people with paintball guns. Then again, maybe i’m being a bit extreme…Perhaps you might try checking your blog each night before you go on stage. You will see how brilliant you are and how much we love you. As for the rest of them…Fuck ‘em.
Wishing you would bring your show to Dallas!
Hugs,
G
don’t dispair dearheart, take solice in knowing the ones who scowl had to spend good money to see you say things their dates want so badly to say. be the voice of the ones who get it but cannot speak of it.
I figure you can look at people who don’t like your show this way: they paid to be there, they paid to see YOU, they can say anything they want but in the end they are the ones that are out the price of a ticket. Also, how does it reflect on those few people who didn’t thoroughly enjoy themselves? They complain and look like and ass. Something is wrong with them, not with your show. It’s not the fault of the artist who may offend their audience, it’s the audience who needs to see the chance to grow in artistic depth or realize that these are the realities of others. Understanding someone else rather then criticizing what they are out there showing the world is a good way to find the human flaws in one’s self.
Personally I don’t know how someone can’t like the show. They have to be a major douche bag to not find it funny.
Carrie — while you’re there please check out these fine Seattle treasures:
1) Dan Savage – editor of the Seattle Stranger.
2) Top Pot Donuts.
You won’t be the same.
Why don’t you just forget about Seattle and come to Melbourne (australia) instead?
And I thought it might help If I reminded you of that famous quote from that person whose name I can’t quite remember at the moment.
“thirty five percent of adults believe that eighty percent of the top twenty percent of the worlds population are wrong about what sixty five percent of the world believes fifty percent of the time”
If that doesn’t help then maybe you could add the ’so fuck em’ part (as recommended by your sponsor) to the very end of it.
Hi Carrie,
I really enjoyed your new book. I find your celeb. anecdotes interesting as well as humorous – your writing is a gift. It is so succinct, I can visulize what you are saying. If others choose to be jealous of your talent, well so be it. I was raised
around highly critical females, and one day (after turning 40), I woke up and realized it was jealousy. Although very painful I decided to put a stop to the madness – I was then treated as a heretic. I don’t hate people that are critical of me, I take it on as a challenge. However, anyone who is cruel, mean-spirited, or bad-mannered at someone else’s gig has a serious abnormality – and you think you’re crazy?? It’s their loss Carrie – not yours! Your friends support you – you don’t need the support of those jerks!
I think it’s very cool that you do the sci-fi gigs – my kidswould LOVE to meet you!
When are you coming to Santa Barbara??
By-the-way, when I was a teeny-bopper, I wanted to look like Carrie Fisher (and also Donna Summer).
I got tired of beating myself up and found several great books by Dr. Theodore Isaac Rubin that helped me and i recommend them. He is psychiatrist whose “Compassion and Self Hate” and “Reoconciliations” describe exactly what you hare dealing with. He work is responsible for the original story of “David and Lisa” movie in the 1960s. (That’s the love story of two teens in a mental hospital) The doc was a regular guest on Phil Donahue’s show back when talk shows were civilized. The reading is easy and profound….guys, read him and tell me what you think of his ideas.
Question for Carrie: Do you get recognized when you’re out and about in Seattle? And if so, what do people typically say? Just curious …
Carrie..I saw your show the other night..the one with “Oscar” and the crazy dude who flipped out on you. I am so sorry and embarrassed for Seattle that this happened!! I found it so rude and completely uncalled for. I felt horrible for you and thought it was so great how you just kept on moving with the show. It didn’t seem to rattle you at all and I was so impressed. You are a total pro and I so respect you for that.
I loved your show and Seattle loves you!! I brought my fiance and he loved it. Some people are just jerks. You know this by now. So what? You can’t please everyone and who wants to please the Oscars of the world, anyway?
We love you!
p.s.
i think that was the bravest show i’ve ever seen.
Are you listening to Pearl Jam and getting a double pump Grande Mocho at starbucks as we speak? I hope not because it is 10:48 and that is more of a Vodka Cran time. Rain is scary, so come back to LA soon
).
If you ever want me to do an SEO campaign for you free of charge I will be happy to do so. You are funny and I think more people should be reading your blogs.
Best,
Nick
nharrison@hmediaconsulting.com
I LOVE your book Carrie and would love to see you live–any chance in your visiting Texas? I’m originally from Washington State and feel ashamed at the ugly behavior some have chosen to show you. Shame on them! I’m Bipolar/ADD and you are an inspiration to me. Gpd Bless You. Mary Ellen Davis
carrie, it’s been my experience that folks who don’t know what it’s like to have a mind that defaults to self-criticism also don’t have the slightest idea of what it’s like to live inside ‘one of us’. my husband calls it ‘the hubris of the healthy’. i am an artist and i used to teach workshops until i realized i was living in so much contraction by worrying if i was doing alright and offering something of genuine value to people that i finally said ‘fuck it’ and stopped teaching. i admire your courage to continually get up there and reveal such intimate truths about yourself in such a vulnerable setting even though it’s hard. i would be a wreck!
YOU ARE FUNNY AND BRILLIANT AND YOUR SEARING HONESTY IS A GIFT……
p.s. i passionately vote for bonnie hunt to be the protaganist of your next film.
Thanks for a great afternoon! We hope that you find the rest of your time in Seattle as welcoming as the Sat urday afternoon show… It was clear that the entire audience enjoyed being with you. It seemed like you really enjoyed playing and talking with us. You’re a great hostess.
Matt wanted you to know that as used to speaking in public as he is, it was still a bit surreal being on stage with you. He hopes that he held up his end….but was very grateful when you had the ceramic statute removed. Patty says she hasn’t laughed that hard in years. While we haven’t opened the gift you gave us after the intermission…know that we plan on framing it, along with a copy of the play bill. (Ok….maybe our kids won’t be able to see exactly WHAT it is…but your note is something that will make us smile each time we see it)
BTW, Matt looked for Gene in the lobby (see post above), but was told that Gene had vanished off in the direction of the gift shop…apparently looking for one of the products you mentioned during the performance….or maybe a lawyer…it wasn’t clear.
We hope your stage manager remembers to send us the photo of you and your “look-a-like”. Matt is scheduled to return to Kosovo in a few months, (where he’ll be training war crimes prosecutors and judges), and he was hoping to be able to use it as a demonstrative aid. (Yes…even in Kosovo, they know who YOU are!)
Our family has learned a lot about survivorship in the past few years. Patty is a Sarcoma survivor as well as a physician. She often has to give bad news and she often has to help others through tough times as well. We hope you realize how much your work and your writings have influenced the lives of people around you. Please keep up the good work (and don’t let the jerks get you down…they’re just seeking attention that they can’t get any other way).
Thanks again for a great afternoon.
Matt and Patty
Carrie,
I am DELIGHTED that you are coming to Detroit. I’m going to see if I can get tickets for my wife and myself. I’m looking forward to the show.
Oh darn, Carrie. I just found out that you’ll be in Detroit for a personal appearance, not the Wishful Drinking tour. Any chance of Wishful Drinking dates in Detroit?
Ms. Fisher:
Saw your show this afternoon. Thanks for the entertainment and for keeping it real.
a freind of bw.
Criticism ?!?!!?
One trap to avoid is “projective identification”, when somebody else has issues – and your issues sorta look the same, but aren’t – they naturally project, but you can’t parse their projective spewage apart from yourself, ’cause you have no vocabulary for those dark corners: forcing you to unwillingly resonant to their venting – sorta like how we all felt when we read our first self-help book, it ( ahem ) knew everything about us – except in this case, the book finishes with “and you’re an a-hole”.
Happens … sucks when it does …
Dealing with “Projective Identification” generally requires a rare breed – a shrink who solves more problems than they create – but not all painful criticism is the result of mental custerflux: sometimes – the other person’s just being a bitch ( venting, competition, drugs ) …
… and sometimes, they actually have a point.
No shortcuts here – the only way to tell the difference is to learn enough about what you’re doing to know if they have a point – perfection in this endeavor generally takes several lifetimes: fortunately, perfection isn’t always required.
I went to see Star Wars when it came out in NYC (I was 7) and from that moment on, I´ve been your fan. Before Google I researched (or as it was then called, pestered my Dad´s P.A.) to find out if you had been on other films and the more basic stuff about you. Turns out you had been on “Shampoo” and I smuggled a VHS of it into the house so I could watch it (my Mom insisting that at 8 I couldn´t see the film, but what did she know).
I gave your name to every new doll I got. Which was kinda funny when we moved back to Brazil (which is where I´m from) as Carrie is not a common name at all down here.
Between ourselves me and my brother in arms (and fellow side seat companion at that eventful first Star Wars screening) had every single piece of Leia thing ever made. I mean who wouldn´t love the first gal that made it cool to make out with your brother, and date a rotter albeit charming guy. Apart from the brotherly overlove she was my role model for future male relationships, and I can safely say good for me, look at how great that Han Solo vibe turned out to be.
If I´m already sounding stalkingly creepy, wait cause there is more.
Well time went on, my Princess Leia stuff went into storage but I was still your fan. Even managed to catch a TV rerun in London of my Carrie Fisher Holy Grail, “Come back little Sheba”.
When Postcards from the Edge came out I got one of the first copies as gift from my brother with a drawing he had made of you when we were kids glued to the back cover of the book along with the funny inscription. And this book started a whole new level of my appreciation of you. Boy can you write.
I come from a family of writers, and yet I can barely get around to writing my grocery list, but that had made my very enthusiastic of the writting skills of others. The more wit the better, and you´ve got it. Truckload of it in fact.
Safe to say I have read all your books since and have just read the latest one “Wishful Drinking” from which I have been quoting endlessly since I´ve read it. My Princess Leia stuff have now made it into the second generation as my 10 year old niece is now your fan and makes me tell her stuff about you all day long (in due time I´ll stear her into the route of the books) so it´s safe to say that you are a sort of family tradition (quite like a heirloom).
If I wasn´t in Rio you could count me in your Seattle audience right now. I´m sure this one is unmissable and I hope you do it on Broadway where I´ll be sure to buy a ticket in advance.
With all this history behind me it´s my pleasure to say that I have never botter nor stalked you before and I sure hope I´m not doing it now, but I just had to tell you how much I really adore all your work.
Luisa – Rio de Janeiro
“Don’t be so hard on yourself” is right up there with “Don’t be nervous” and “Cheer up” on the scale of useless advice. I think it’s just another way of telling someone to shut up because they’re boring you with all their whining- which would actually be extremely helpful advice.
Let me add one to the Fuck It variety of coping mechanisms “2 tears in a bucket…mother fuck it”- Lady Chablis.
I know what I forgot. Wetlands. You are so right. That is some shock value right there. I’m also trying to figure out what exactly people find offensive at your show. People are strange…
Oh! and the purses your mom donated on The Bonnie Hunt Show sold for nearly $800 at auction. (The company I work for runs Bonnie’s auctions on eBay) Thank you to Debbie! Your mom rocks!
If it helps at all, I’m a man and I regret missing your Los Angeles dates very, very much last year. (Was it last year?) Plus I’m not gay at all and I’m single so no wife would have dragged me!
This is what I would do if it were me up there: (Keep in mind, I’m smartmouthed)
1. If I were to see the gloomy faces out that staring at me I would say, “Well it looks like that are some people out there who aren’t enjoying my show. (Hands on hips) Well, in any case let’s give them all a round of applause for being so brave and coming anyways.” (The result – People will laugh for I am just being my over the top self.)
But if you want to take the high road. When you are doing the show think about those mens poor wives that have to listen to them on the dirve home drone on and on about how boring they thought the show was, blah, blah, blah….so do it for the wives so they have some fond memories to retreat to while their husbands are spewing filth.
2. If I were being heckled this is what I would say. “Well it’s obvious you want my attention and that I must occupy a large part of your time if the only thing you have better to do is come here and make these statements that I have heard before.” (The result – The person looks stupid to the audience which makes them like you even more) – This is what has been said to me, You’re fat. (I’m not even that fat) or You’re picture looks like Jabba the Hut. (This is what I said, Oh please, come back and insult me when you have something original to say) They haven’t come back yet.
More than likely that guy hasn’t evolved past playground antics of pulling a girl’s hair if he likes her. I bet he is infatuated by and was trying to impress you.
BTW – I saw a couple of clips from “Under the Rainbow”, the part that intrigued me was where the little person man was taking your clothes off with a sword. OMG. I so want to find that movie and know what that was all about. I saw it on Amazon and the listing for new was $99.99!!!!! – Wait a minute. You forgot your diafram. – You are so cool to me. Oh, and I just started Postcards from the Edge.
There is a little quote from Benjamin Franklin that pretty much sums it all up.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”
Buck up little trooper, we love you,Carrie.
Carrie, I have a friend who is wonderfully myopic. In fact, the expression on her face is akin to the look you get from a guinea pig. She stops criticism like no one else. She just gives them that guinea pig glare and then changes the subject, as though she simply never heard what you said, or you were speaking in a language that has nothing to do with her. Practice that look as often as possible and you’ll be on your way to conquering criticism.
Of course, you should also do what your mother always told you: don’t let the bastards get to you. The trick to this is always smile so that the bastards don’t know that they’ve chinked your armor. And, like all school yard bullies, they will quit when they think that you are unfazed.
When all else fails, tell ‘em that you only do things to irritate them and it appears that your mission is accomplished.
Carrie,
I’ll tell you what I told my 12 year old niece yesterday: people your age become very critical when they don’t want you to see their flaws and short comings, or just plain don’t understand you.
Not to insult you by intimating that you are adolescent, but the same holds true for adults. Who gives a shit what a few disgruntled, socially awkward, introverted loudmouths think? It’s your “adoring fans” who matter because they understand you, or at least enjoy what they see and hear in you.
I find you hysterically funny, and there’s something in your mania that resonates in the rest of us. I guess the real difference between us and you, is that you share your mania and we hide in ours.
Carrie – a belated welcome to my funny little city – it claims to be a bastion of liberalism but is in fact, still a backwater little frontier town.
If you get a chance, do take the “Underground Seattle Tour” and find out about all the dirty little secrets our city has, including why our 1900 census has an incredibly large population of ‘Seemstresses’, and the infamous spite street mapping -
Love to you,
Paulie
Don’t you have that amazing superpower to turn men gay & make them go bald?
I’m imagining the possibilities for an audience plant…
“Buddy, if you’re not enjoying the show, let me put on my rainbow cape & get my little wand…”
hmmm…would it work in reverse on gay, bald guys?
But seriously, at the end of the day, are you gonna see YOURSELF in the miror, or are you gonna see the opinion of some crass, classless buffoon?
Good rule of thumb: If it’s hollered from the audience & disrupts others’ enjoyment of the show, there’s a very good chance that it IS NOT “constructive criticism” and should not be taken as such.
The fat chic at Saturday afternoon’s show, laughing, jiggling, snorting, elbowing her husband, dabbing mascara, slapping her knee, mouth agape with admiration was me.
A great show, even more than I expected.
PS. Did you happen to get the screenplay I, a.k.a. Gail, left with Jerry Manning? He seems like a nice man; hope you liked it.
Be a man and take criticism like the rest of us do: cowering, ashen, weepy, tonguing a bottle of Absolut as soon as one can. And there’s absolutely nothing that can’t be linked to childhood shame! You’d think being heckled by your boss over some Excel sheet or time sheet or whatever couldn’t possibly have anything to do with your father abandoning you. You’d be wrong!
On the upside, I find cannabis an invaluable aide in pretending to forget your inner holocaust of shame. On the downside, and I’m going out on a limb here, big fan of the novels, don’t know the rest of your stuff, but I’m going to guess that a) you’ve already conducted the weed/vodka/sobbing experiment and b) that experiment has been concluded. Oops.
Hi,
You have my respect for being open and being willing to tell others your stories. This is why we have close friends and there are clicks as young as elementary school. There will always be some people who get you, and some people that don’t. Yeah the Bastards get you down, thats why even adults love movies like mean girls…we love to see people get what they have coming. The people who come and have a good time are the people who love you for being you, and sharing yourself. The guys who go and can’t find any part of your montage enjoyable, don’t want to have fun. Just be glad their wives are having a good time, it must be tough to me married to those sticks in the mud. Once this is over, there wives will be back in monotony land and those bored men will be back on their online porn sites.
Dear Carrie,
I’m going to try to contact you more officially, but for now I thought I’d just leave a comment here. I wanted to let you know an essay about how you changed my life as “my own personal diva” in the Star Wars movies has just been published in a grand and fabulous new book called MY DIVA. I’d love to send you a copy of the book. The book has received wonderful reviews. And you’re in good company — other other divas written about range from Elizabeth Taylor to Bette Midler, Diana Ross to Queen Elizabeth I, Julia Child to Laura Nyro.
http://www.amazon.com/My-Diva-Women-Inspire-Them/dp/0299231208
You’ve pretty well covered it, but dragged there or not anyone that plays the grouch during your show (no matter how conservative they are) needs to have a mirror shoved in their face so they can learn to laugh at themselves. Best of luck with the rest of your run!
The blockbuster in Lake City has a Leia bobblehead for sale….
But my question is, HOW??????? How do you ignore criticism and put it into perspective within the hour?
Oh, lordy, I wish I knew a definitive answer to that one! I have never really been able to handle criticism very well, because I immediately turn on myself for being such an awful person to have prompted criticism, in the first place. It’s so easy to say, “Well obviously I should just ignore it!” but it’s never that easy to follow through.
Lately, I’ve been dealing with it by blogging about it. That seems to show me just how absurd some of it really is. Like the guy who shoved his finger in my face and screamed at me that I was unprofessional and treating him like a child because I wouldn’t let him leave a conference session early and still get full continuing education credits. Or, like a certain international delegate who, because I would not bend the rules and send a visa document until he actually registered for a conference, sent emails to all of the chairs and organizers of that conference, telling them what a horrible, stupid, uneducated person I am, and that I will never know what it is like to be a scholar (’cause those two times I went to graduate school certainly aren’t worth squat), and that I have RUUUUUUUUUUINED everything. (They promptly dropped him from the program.)
As for people coming to your show and then finding it offensive… well… I don’t have anything better than the sage words of your sponsor (which I think I might adopt as a mantra to use when I deal with those types), but I *can* share an amusingly similar anecdote: For some of our conferences, we arrange tours of the Kinsey Institute (as in, The Kinsey institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction), and I recently got a nasty complaint from someone who’d signed up to go on this tour… who was horrified and offended by the er, nature of the art exhibits on display there. It has me firmly convinced that some people go out looking for a bad time. I’m just sorry to hear that some of them ended up at your show.
Don’t let those pricks get you down.
Come on, you’ve been to therapy…it’s not you, it’s them.
Maybe they just lost their jobs or found out they were dying of an incurable disease.
You are tremendously funny and magnetic. Whether they show it or not, they are better off for having gone to see you and for a brief moment they will forget how miserable they really are (even if their faces don’t show it).
When the hell are you coming East?
Stop in Providence.
Let’s visit.
Jim
Hey, Carrie! Are you ever gonna take your show to NY? I would LOVE to come see it! And seriously, the guy I would bring along would LOVE to see you, too! All smiles in our seats. Come East!
Dear Carrie,
I just finished reading your book Wishful Drinking and I found it very entertaining. I would love to be able to see your show sometime. Any chance you’ll come to St. Louis MO any time soon? I hope you are enjoying Seattle.
All the best.
Sarah
Carrie –– it’s me again! I am glad to see a new blog from you. Yeah, Seattle’s a little uptight (I personally prefer SF and PDX), but no matter where you go you’re going to find some who are going to project their own insecurities on you, making them feel uncomfortable, because it’s uncomfortable for them to see someone so totally honest––not everyone can handle it. I say bless your heart for your honesty, for using your radiance, incredible class and amazing intellect to stand up there and make us laugh our heads off at ourselves as human beings!
My brother lives in Seattle, where I’m originally from. He somehow got two autographed photographs of your mother, for my daughter Judy and myself and we got them in the mail today. He was trying to make me feel better, because I froze up speechless when I saw Debbie in the theater opening night in Seattle. Today the autographed pictures came in the mail, and I noticed on TCM they were playing “Singing in the Rain” tonight, so I’ve been thinking of you both!
You are a star. You have it and you can thank your mother for that, Carrie! Keep smilin’… keep singin’ in the rain!
One last thought––why bring a husband to a show if you don’t think he’d like it…. and uh, can’t he say “no, thanks”? I don’t get some marriages. I don’t understand why the husband is sitting wearily outside the dressing room and Nordstrom, either. But that’s just me.
I’m more of a lurker to this blog and don’t usually comment… but I can’t help it. To everyone who’s commenting and trying to plug your stuff so Carrie will read it: give it a rest. Carrie’s fans are just lucky that she even has a website where she actually posts, so… quit spamming her blog entries with random posts about Star Wars, your own personal plugs and stick to stuff that’s actually related to what Carrie’s writing about. It’s not that hard, is it?
Sorry, just had to rant. Thanks again for the blog, Carrie!
Came across these words of wisdom and thought I would share…”Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss
Carrie – left a message at the Rep, hope to get to see you while you’re here. Don’t let the crazies get you down!
Valid critcisim of a performance (or a book or a screenplay):
1) Lack of integrity-never been your problem; never will
2) Lack of effort-only you know what you have to bring to any one performance. Your best, or take your lumps.
3) Lack of sincerety-as much of your life that shared with us so far, I can’t believe that this show is anything but a labor of love. A celebration of a dear heart that won’t break and a talent that has so much to give.
Hard not to take it personally, ain’t it?
Sorry for the double post, but at some point you may wonder why I’d bother writing you?
Nope, I don’t have a screenplay to wave at you, or a product for you to bless or shill for me.
I don’t need any Hollywood fairy dust to brush off on me or even to beg for more books. (But will, if necessary.)
I think it’s the spark in your brown eyes, that promise of mischief and merriment. First seen staring down Warren Beatty, then later seen calming a fuzzy little bear that waved a spear at you. Of late, seen while asking unbelievable questions to celebrities filmed in your living room.
Maybe it’s all in my imagination, but I know the Great Songwriter wrote about the desolation of the abscence of that spark-”cold, coffee eyes”-and I can’t imagine his grief or what it would take to live without seeing that spark again. I don’t know if I’d have the courage to function when the dreaded PAM was in town. Was she shocked out of existence? Is it safe to come out?
I only know that this world would be a little dimmer if I knew that spark would never come again. If attention and praise are all that I can offer in return for the hope of that spark; that’ll do for me. Hope it’ll work for you.
Dear Carrie, That is because you are a sensitive ARTIST…I know there’s a stigma about them…but hey, if you got it, flaunt it. I’m happy that you have this creative outlet that’s funny, inspiring and truthful to boot. Bring it to San Diego one day and I will paint ball anyone in the audience who gives you a distained look…just kidding. Rootin’ for you and thanks for giving us your blog when you can. A smile is an important thing and you bring one to my lips every time. Bill ps. even if for one reason or another I didn’t smile…at least I would get it.
Regarding reader Cassie’s comment To everyone who’s commenting and trying to plug your stuff so Carrie will read it: give it a rest.
Now I’m feeling mighty crappy, since, I seem to be one of the four (out of sixty one) folks who included a direct link to “my stuff” – in my case, a blog entry I once wrote.
The fact is I already felt a little dubious about my motives, even as I was posting the link. I mean, logically I know I’m not “spamming” the site; my blog’s just a blog, not some profit-making enterprise, and I come here and read all the posts because I like to read Carrie’s posts, and I read all the comments, too, because I like to read what everybody has to say about Carrie’s posts.
And it just so happened that Carrie posed a question posed to her readership. “How do you deal with criticism?” And I really *did* want to find an answer for her, even though – or perhaps because? – I’m so godawful at dealing with criticism myself.
So I could have just answered the question in the comment box, except that, as I said, I didn’t have an actual answer, and then, wouldn’t you know it, in trying to come up with one, that’s when I had the little A-HA moment: “you know, that whole critical-audience thing reminds me of this BLOG ENTRY I once wrote…” And suddenly I saw a perfect way to answer Carrie’s question….
AND — maybe get a few eyeballs on my blog….
Oh, crap. I’m GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY. Yes, I wanted Carrie to read my blog! Because she’s Carrie Fisher, and she’s so goddamned funny, and I wanted her to read my blog and think mine was funny, too! There, I said it, but I’m not sure it makes me feel any better…..
No, the only thing that makes me feel a little better is that when I fill out the “Leave a Reply” box there’s a space right there inviting me to put in my web site, and I can’t help but notice that a lot of other folks have put in their web sites, too, web sites that happen to be blogs, and so maybe I’m not trying the patience of one and all by having the audacity to maybe mention mine out loud here in this space – and maybe I can be forgiven for this when I mention that I am a bit clueless, and didn’t realize that my name was already hotlinked to my web site. And I feel a little better when I remind myself that this site is moderated, which I take to mean that if I am in fact being too audacious then my comment will be promptly rejected and sent to Spamland by that moderator.
OK, I did sort of think my blog entry related to the topic at hand, but, yes, it was probably rather shameless and pathetic of me to put the direct link in here. Sorry if I tested anyone’s patience.
I tried to send you an email response to your blog site but that FUCKING live windows ate it…along with 5-6 of my resume sends and job applications which is why Im the best paid homeless person out here. ANYWAY…MY childhood and life were EXACTLY like yours….only different. ANYWAY, one of the things Id mentioned in the eaten letter was I had to go take a shower because I like to type nude (and do everything nude, I only put my clothes on to have sex so someone else (always a female) can take them off and get all excited) but I had to shower because I stayed up too late last nite doing my taxes…slept till too close to check out time and couldnt shower and after 2 days of continued downhill driving from Ohio to wherever I am now in the south…my crotch smelled EXACTLY like a 6 inch (in this case 8 inch…and yeah Im white…not bald…not gay…and not fat) SUBWAY sandwich that had been left in the hot sun all afternoon (does this sound familiar to you??? NOOOOO the missed shower…geez…you think Id go there????hmmm…actually I would go there gladly…I think). Anyway, shower is done…thought 1. on criticism REMEMBER…”beauty is in the eye of the BEER holder” thought 2. REMEMBER…the words are “Illigitime non carbarundum” which is LATIN for…DONT LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN…thats true…I mastered 3 unspoken languages in my education, Hebrew, Latin and Greek. OH another one to remember…”Semper ubi sub ubi” again LATIN for…ALWAYS WEAR UNDERWEAR…which I dont always do…and may contribute to the warm fish sandwich smell of my crotch today. Anyway, it smells EXACTLY like….birds and flowers now…only different. thought 3. DONT CRY TO ME ABOUT SEATTLE BABE…I JUST LEFT CLEVELAND…nough said…but GOD she was beautiful…Id have suffered through that town for her…52 yr old doll, body of a 20 yr old, no cellulite, perfect 36Cs (shit you not….still pointed forward…no saggers) ass of a little boy (I think…maybe…Ive never really examined little boys (EVER) like I did hers, I call them “one-handers” because I can hold em…and eat em with one hand…and she tasted like a raindrop…GOD she was awesome…had adopted 2 orphans from different countries…i loved them and having raised 3 incredible personas of my own was dying to do my graduate work in raising 2 more…and she would NOT let me into her life. She can love others and loves to be needed (aka 2 adopted sweethearts)…but she CAN NOT…let herself be loved by another and she CAN NOT allow herself to need ANYONE else. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR…DAUGHTER OF A VACANT DAD??? (her Dad was a REAL alcohol addict..NOT that phoney bullshit that al-anon sells…for free) BTW…FUCK Alcoholics Anonymous…the serenity prayer isnt JUST “FUCK EM” its “FUCK AL-ANON”…ANYWAYS (as they say in Wisconsin and the UP…dont axe me why I know that) Ill give the Pychology majors insight into Al-Anon later. All I know is that IT wont fix YOU and I bet your brother has already told you that…if not…I will. ( (hint: nicotine addiction is more powerful and more difficult to quit than alcohol, or the opiates (documented research) and when you quit smoking (as I have more than once) you are NEVER a “recovering smoker”…EVER…you are an “ex smoker”…or a “former smoker” as I am…errrr…enough, nice teaser). FUCK Al-Anon…and your critics…yer ok (despite what your brother was telling me)..we do seem to often hit the same frequencies…I hope you do read this Carrie, I think I might be of some help. ANYWAY…I think its time to switch on the porn channel and…ummmm…expend a little energy…its the only toy I got at Christmas (see I told you our childhoods were EXACTLY the same, only different???) and I can still play with it…as do you. ANYWAY…enjoy your work (fuck “that AINT workin” (what song is that from?) babe…bullshitting for a living???? I got you pegged …babe) and your play (you might want a vibrator that is 120V (ever use a 120V JACKHAMMER??? I have…but not for that…you have to wire it directly into your BREAKERBOX…itll dim the lights…might even trip the main breaker…but babe that fuckin thing would ROCK YOUR WORLD) instead of the battery op you got from mom). Enjoy…and remember if you get a 120V vibrator…isolate yourself from the ground…things get messy when things get wet…ummmm…around electricity. Ill send some other shit about some other silly ideas…Monty Python a made living out of “silly walking”…and youre doing what???…to who???for HOW MUCH???LOL…enjoy babe, Im glad for you. Dave.
Interview on 88.5 KPLU
Thanks! Hope the rest of the run is great…
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/kplu/news.newsmain?action=article&ARTICLE_ID=1493549
OK…IM SORRY…I sent that last one first and then read the suck ass…bullshit…Orwellian DOUBLEFUCKINGSPEAK crap that these idiots dole out on this blog…relieve yourself of needing either the accolade or the criticism and do what the fuck ever you want…they’ll think your CRAZY…and they’ll call you that…and they’ll try to medicate you… but in truth… YOU will be the ONLY one among them that is TRULY free. If you want a REAL description of what THIS society DOES to the TRULY free in its midst…I submit to you Jack Nicholson’s EPIC portrayal in the FIRST INDEPENDENT MOVIE PRODUCTION EVER MARKETED BY A MAJOR FILM PRODUCER…know what it was??? Youll never get it…call Peter Fonda (and dont tell me that with the genepool you swim in you cant) and axe (errr ask) him what movie it was. REAL freedom is a REAL bitch…as Jack’s character said…”and they will kill and mame to prove to you…” “ni ni…SWAMP” Check the clip on YOUTUBE…free)….Don Henley sang …”freedom…oooo freedom…well thats just some people talking, your PRISON is walking through this world all alone…” are YOU there? (Desperado…Eagles…lol…I remember when those assholes sucked Ronstat’s ass…hmmm bet it tasted pretty good back in the day)…yeah now theyre the MAN $150 per seat…NUTS. I hope you read this Carrie…”LIVE FREE”…and FUCK HARLEY-DAVIDSON..if you dont know why I went there with that axe (and the BALD, FAT,GREY HAIRED STUPID MUTHERFUCKERS that ride em)…ride a REAL bike. Dave.
Just got home from the show! Loved it! I was a bit worried when the ladies sitting directly behind me had a slight argument over which project you were in, Star Wars or Star Trek… but they seemed to enjoy the show. Dragged my sister along.. she owes me five bucks because I told her you would sing and she was sure you wouldn’t. So, thank you. Just a heads up… we may get snow again so take care on those slick roads! Thanks for a great show! You are the best! (Okay, it was my first “one-woman” show but… I really enjoyed it. And thanks for being gentle with a first-timer like me!)
I saw your show last night, and I thought it was fantastic. Thank you so much for bringing your show to Seattle and for sharing your stories in your own manner. Being a performing artist myself, I can understand your frustrations with the Seattle audiences. It’s hard not to get caught up in everyone’s opinions, but always remember why you do what you do. I just wanted to share with you how much I appreciated and loved your show. I can’t wait to begin reading your books! Thanks for making me smile!
Didnt I post a comment on here last nite…did it get blocked? If so why…what did I do?
ooohhh…moderation…I get it…lol…its the ADD thing…
The older I grow the more I’m convinced that most of us stop growing in high school. That crap parents always say about it just being a phase? BS. People just get sneakier and develop larger vocabularies to apply to their lunchroom tactics. That doesn’t help much with an audience, I know, since it’s more or less on par with what your sponsor said about the serenity prayer….
I once had an older Japanese lady who taught at my college tell me before a performance of a piece about my own past troubles to “please imagine all audience and tv camera are pumpkin!” Or one time I pretended they’re baby animals that didn’t get their breakfast yet… aww… so grumpy… poor widdle critics… who didn’t get their breakfast yet? Somehow I found the imagery of the ones who were unimpressed as a bunch of grumpy unfed little orangutans comforting… or at least laughable….
I once made my way to one of these Star Wars things to get my copy of the Best Awful signed. When I got to the front of the line I mentioned that I found you inspiring, and you asked “in what way?” Which was a perfectly reasonable response but not one I was ready for after hours in a line surrounded by people in wild costumes, and I had no answer!
So here it is: putting everything out there the way you do, and finding ways of handling the bad with as much humour as the good… you said once on TV (isn’t it weird to hear others quote when you said something wise and profound?) that it takes balls (or the female equivalent) to live with mental illness. You’ve managed to do both live AND find the hilarity in it, which I figure must take some kind of super-atomic-balls…. That’s inspiring.
I guess what I’m getting at is that whatever faces the unwilling spouses might be making, eff em! For the rest of us, you’re doing something both entertaining and profound. I hope you’ll be able to keep that in mind more than half the time, and the rest of the time, please imagine all audience are pumpkin!
j
Picture them all naked.
Ahh, yes- criticism.
Here’s my take: When you have exposed feelings, they get injured. When you have no unexposed feelings, they seldom do. So you can hold back and live less, or you can let go and live more fully and (remarkably, at least for me) the skin gets tougher and other people’s perspectives don’t amount to shit.
More on my blog: dgsma.wordpress.com.
Love your words and your experience- and Seattle’s not so conservative, it’s one of the more liberal places I’ve lived. But I will accept your sympathy for moving from Seattle to Butte, MT…
Hi Carrie!
I’m a 19 year old major and I kind of had the same sort of experience with criticism recently by this semi-controversial show I was in (it had a good message though). I figure that, really you just have to do it for yourself, if you get something out of it, then you’ve been successful. If people watching the performance get something out of it, then you’re even more successful. It sounds kind of selfish, but it’s helped me out a lot these past few months.
Take care, and I hope the run goes well!
Katie
Hey, Sueprano, don’t worry yourself about it. In a small way, its what Carrie has dealt with. Criticism. YOU know your motives and reasons, and for me, that’s what truly matters. If you came on here and said, ‘hey, read my blog!’ every time, i would think something was up. But you are one of the ‘regulars’ here, and you have shown, to me at least, that you are not here in a ‘look at me!’ fashion. I think its a cool thing that we can link to our sites/blogs on here, because at the end of the day, blogging is (or should be) about connecting with people. Reading something and thinking, ‘yes! i’ve been there!’. and since we all post here, we know we have at least one fantastic thing in common.
It gives us a way to get familiar with each other if we wish.
Ericka
Carrie Fisher, I love your blog.
U have the Best gig in the world”, baby.”…….. one of akind.
We’re all just jealous, lol.
You’re a treasure …lol
I hate constructive criticism. It still makes you feel like you did a crappy job. I’d rather go with the Ignorance is bliss thing. I’ve just learned to ignore negative comments by thinking that more people praise me than bring me down.
You are great, don’t worry about criticism, some people just don’t have manners.
Hope you can bring you show in Toronto, Canada!
You are great! Don’t worry about criticism as some people just don’t have manners.
Hope you can bring your show here in Toronto, Canada.
This is my third try posting, hope this works.
I just want to say that you are great. Don’t worry about criticism and rude people, some people just don’t have manners.
Hope you can bring your show to Toronto, Canada!
Thanks, Ericka! (I tried to reply in your blog, but I didn’t pass the screen test.
)
Well, when people try to put me down (I’m a software engineer, so I get the ‘geek’ cracks all of the time), I just figure they feel shitty and try to feel better by making someone else feel shittier than them. It’s human nature….
I never set out to make someone feel bad intentionally, so I guess I’m better than them. Yes, that’s right, I’m better than them! I said it! That’s how I rise above it. And, it works for me most of the time.
CARRIE…READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT IT….PLEASE????. If the nutty stuff of open minded free thought demonstated in those two main blogs (and my ADD based follow-ups) and the other one about you being an INTERNET LUMBERJACK (aka….web logger) didnt cause you to chuckle (maybe because you were once again lying curled up in the fetal position covering your head from all the SHIT people are saying about you), read them again..if you laughed at ANY of them, email me at one of my mutiple email personalities…I think you could add to my material and I could add to yours. See Carrie, I could tell that the large print that they used in that book (Wishful…) wasnt used just to help old gay fat men with bad eyes be able to read it easier…it was because you probably had more to say, but didnt…or maybe you lacked material??? Carrie, Im not a stalker, a wierd sex fiend (at least not worse than you), or a wierdo, (though Im in the land of them)…Im NOT interested in yours or ANYONES money ( I need to stay poor for another year to keep my support payment down) and I dont NEED to win your heart or woo you (but I might if you wanted) Id like to be a friend and thats all, Id like to laugh with you and reinterpret the world as we see it and keep you out of that fetal postion you do when you listen to the “beer holders” Im not some stupid self absorbed entertainer with a “BIG NAME”, (and I ALSO disregard their definition of significance or success) Im not a wierdo, though Im in the land of wierdos….Anyway, Im in “paradise” right now…Im at a place called “Paradise Lakes” in Lutz FL. Remember the nude thing I mentioned?…This is a primo “naturist” resort (150k condos, a 250 ft long 3 ft deep, crystal clear “conversation pool” where nude women men and kids are standing getting a tan and bullshitting each other (they wont pay you a ton of money to do that here like they for you on the stage) but in this venue, who cares??? But they do have entertainers, and there is a dance tonite. One thing about these places is they are PAINFULLY private and i suspect they would honor your privacy as much as they want theirs honored…AND>>>>GET THIS….if youre not comfortable with “social nudity” you can leave your swim suit ON…they wont care….its “your membership” as they say, but I think this level of clothes freedom would be a direct reflection of your thinking freedom???? NO???Anyway there is a primo resort (EXACTLY THE SAME AS THIS ONLY DIFFERENT), south of you in Palm Spgs, Ive emailed their owners and they gave me an open invite to enjoy their hospitality at any time. Sooooo….here is my other thought, I see you have nothing scheduled past Detroit (which of course I just left) why dont you consider the GARGANTUAN entertainment venue that is Orlando/Kissimmee….or possibly the Tampa/St Pete area…CARRIE…it is warm…the sun is out…there is NO pollution…Its not as weird as Seattle or cold as Detroit…(which has to making your nipples hard) do yourself a FAVOR for once. Im sitting in a totally open bar across from a gorgeous nude woman with a fabulous body (and its better than ANY stripper bar, cause I dont have to tip her a thing to see em. Some of these pussies reach out invitingly before you, some youd have to raise the fat flap in order to see the mud flap, but its ALL good, and there are some great looking guys here with HUGE…ummmm….endowments….and although there no overt sexual contact allowed in public, Im sure you would have the POTL as they say (POTL=pick of the litter) if you so chose. CARRIE…email me, this could be a RIOT…just being friends… Lastly I would NEVER and have NEVER raised a hand toward a woman, (I have raised 2 fabulous women (they would provide a reference if requested)and a son who is still in HS) but with my training youd never need a body guard either….ever. If you email, Ill give you my profile name on Singlenudist.com, you can make a quick phoney profile just to get access to see my profile and pics. THINK ABOUT IT…IT COULD BE FUN..JUST BEING BUDS….my main email is here…say hi, I look for your response either in my mail box or on here, Dave.
Look back over your other blogs…Ive thrown a few other responses for you amusement….
> Do any of you have any tricks to taking criticism ——or better still—-NOT taking it!
If you’re worried about what other people are thinking of you, remember that most of the time — they’re NOT! To some schlub whose wife dragged him to your show — and he’s a schlub if only for LETTING her drag him there, if he doesn’t want to go — the two hours he’s there is a mere blip on the radar. If he doesn’t like what you have to say, he will get over it. Focus on the good you’re doing by being real. Focus on the people who are inspired and uplifted by what you have to say — and believe me, they far outnumber the schlubs.
As for not taking criticism, I can’t recall which female performer, or maybe female impersonator said this line to a woman heckling her from the audience, but she said, “Shut your hole, mine’s making money!”
The shut your hole line, I researched to Bette Midler quoting Belle Barth
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belle_Barth
Carrie,
Saw the closing night of your show in Seattle. What a treat. My husband and i loved it. You are a wonderful person and story teller. No criticism should be allowed. The show is all you and it is beautiful.
Thanks for bringing your grace to us.
i know i’m late to this party, but a tip about hostile, straight men in the audience – i’ve seen kathy griffin acknowledge them; how their women dragged them there, how the place if filled with her gays and girlfriends, etc. and what a drag it must be for the straight men, and this recognition seems to soften them. you could probably work in a different “i didn’t wanna go to this one party/meeting/therapy-group” story every performance to bond w/them, and never run outta material. just a thought.
Carrie: Hope to see you in your Berkeley show…that will make it just about 30 years since the last time…1979 or so, San Francisco’s Green Room, Actualizations Weekend…a party in the Castro afterwords. You said I reminded you of Dustin Hoffman and leapt into my arms…extremely Hollywood I thought and loved it.
You are so smart . It’s a joy to read your blog.
Loved the show when you were here in Seattle…the miserable men with their wives were probably from the Eastside…Bellevue, Redmond, and Kirkland. Going to downtown Seattle is annyoying for them and for us (those that live here) as their enormous SUVs cause traffic jams and endanger pedestrians all at the same time…of course factor in that they are on their cellphones and using their GPS devices to get that perfect parking spot (they don’t exist by the way)…hoping that they won’t end up with a “ding” on their Suburban Assualt Vehicles.
We don’t count them as being Seattleites…..but rather an annoying necessity….kinda like menopause. We love our suburban neighbors but love them a little less when they come downtown!
You want conservative give Dallas or Houston a try…you’ll be hearing crickets chirping in the audience and maybe see a tumbleweed roll by!
Love you!
Jim
Dear Carrie,
LOVE your Show!
Every Word,
Every Phrase,
Every Line,
EVERY NUANCE!
I Simply Wouldn’t Change A Thing!
Love, Eve Harrington
p.s. my friend, rex, and i were at your july 11 saturday matinee in berkeley. it was great to laugh so much with you
Many Smiles and Cheers!
Carrie–
I’ve read this post when it was originally published and wanted terribly to find a meaningful way to respond to it. You’ve always been an inspiration to me for many reasons, and on my worst days, listening/reading what you have to say/write boosts my confidence about 100%. I wanted to return the favor, so to speak.
FINALLY. (5 months later….) I came across something that you said in an interview that I now repeat to myself almost on a daily basis: “YOU have to matter more than what people think of you”.
Personally though, I think their just afraid of your wit.
And damn it, they should be!
I hate to use your own words against you, but they’re about as short and sweet as they are true.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given, in any case.
Hope it helps.
Good luck with the show in NYC!!
I’ll be there in December!
xoxo
What a faboo show I saw in NYC, thank you. You are a true and mysterious adaptor to cosmic enemas. But what does all the Latin mean that was so beautifully enscribed all over the stage and scenery?