It’s been awhile… M.I.B.
By Carrie • May 9th, 2009 • Category: NewsSee, now I have been away endlessly. How can I make it up to you? It’s just that we have been doing the show here in Seattle longer than we have ever appeared anyway, and over time I’ve found that I do the show and little else.
We’ve been lucky with the weather, so that’s made the time here pass more pleasantly. And I’ve begun an all too necessary exercise regime, because I’m fatter than I’ve ever been. Not that people are coming to my show to see how slim I am. But I’m quite angry at myself for letting this happen. The idiotic thing is that I hardly eat anything. But what I DO eat is not necessarily conducive to bikini wear.
I’ve been trying to rewrite the show a bit. Add something here, remove something there. Actually, over the last week, I’ve been filling yellow legal pads with my huge, 8th grade cursive. Trying to find a way to succinctly write about my theories on celebrity. fl———–wow. That’s (hopefully) the most pretentious thing I have written on this blog.
But now we’re almost done with our run here, which hopefully means I’ll have more energy to something OTHER than my show.
Though, having seen this other one human show up here, this show, “Breaking Hearts and Taking Names” written and performed by this incredibly talented man, Kevin Kling and this friend of his from Minnesota, (which is also where he’s from) a beautiful girl who plays the accordion—– I now want to rewrite my even more of my show. The great thing about his show is how emotional it is. I mean, there’s such HEART in most everything he says. Not that there isn’t heart in mine, but my show has this kind of nite club thing about it. Not that that’s surprising, having spent a lot of my formative years watching and performing in nightclubs.
My show is show bizzy in a way that Kevin’s isn’t………(duh) And a lot of that is unavoidable, as my story is a pretty show bizzy tale, but what I’ve really wanted to focus on is the ordinary aspect of what many other’s consider extraordinary.
Part of the way of approached this challenge, is to re read all my old books. How solipsistic is that??? Or, another way of looking at it is, how EMBARRASSING is that? I mean, I would bring an old book of mine down to the gym in the hotel and read it while on the recumbent bike. Although the only thing that would make this truly shame worthy is if I was CAUGHT reading myself AS myself…..
I want to tell this story in the show about my family’s first brush with celebrity.
Poncho Villa
Which did NOT happen when my parents became celebrities in the 50’s, but when my grandfather was robbed by Pancho Villa in the 20’s. Specifically 1923, the year of his death. My grandfather, Ray Reynolds, was on a train with his baseball team crossing Texas to play a game. The train was stopped, all aboard ordered off, where they were stripped to their underwear and robbed of any valuables they might have possessed. (it was unlikely anyone had anything of any value on them—-a baseball team coming from El Paso would have hardly been worth the effort Pancho would have to have put into such a robbery)
But my grandfather never forgot his brush with the notorious Pancho Villa. The main image he carried with him for the rest of his life was, “And he was a little guy——like me!” So there was hope for the small man. Even the little guy could intimidate scores of people and go down in history as a revolutionary and a hero of sorts—–depending on who you talked to.
When he was assassinated a short time later, my grandfather made the trip to see his body. An experienced he never forgot until he got Alzheimer’s in his late 80’s……..
Anyway (I say this so much in my show that the word police are going to catch up with me and incarcerate me in a dictionary dungeon somewhere.)
But, be that as it may (which is the new “anyway” of the Americas) please accept my M.I.B (missing in blogland) and rest assured that now that doing my show will stop munching all my available energy, I will surface back among all of you that float free style in this ocean of my evermores………
Our sojourn in Seattle ends on Mother’s Day. I don’t know if that’s a sign of some kind (many of you will become pregnant?)
Did I tell you my new word arrangements? “Celebrity is obscurity biding it’s time” and “Things were getting worse faster than we could lower our standards..”
All these fresh from the marshland of my anecdotage………….
Oh, and also……….”Some people confuse fame with acceptance. They want to feel like celebrities seem. The only problem with that is that behind this seeming beats an ordinary heart, capable of breaking, burning and attack. If you cut a celebrities prick does it not bleed? If a celebrity SEEMS like a prick, how can he be otherwise?
That’s my news from the front lines of seeming……of screaming………of solipsistic feasts……….
xxooxxoox, cf
I’ve been on the road and have missed some of your posts. I’m responding to an older post from a new post because while you may take the time to read every, single, entry, I don’t want this response to be buried 50 comments deep.
I have no shrink. I had to settle for psychedelics and crying it out. Goodbye is to me what rejection seems to be to you. I was an only child and my mom’s best friend until I was 10. The day she came home from the hospital with my brother she said, “I have a baby now. You are on your own.” I doubt she meant it as literally as I took it but that’s how I roll. I’ve put that weight on every “Goodbye” since and have subsequently strangle held anyone nuts enough to get within arms reach of my heart. I fear “Goodbye” at “Hello”. How self defeating is that?!
Might you also be having a child’s reaction to an adult’s circumstance? My suggestion is that you accept once and for all that your father loves you to the best of his capacity and let it go (if that’s the root. I assume it’s parental as they seem to be able to fuck us up with a flip of their fickle). Besides, if everyone loved you you’d probably be boring and boring doesn’t sell screenplays. From that perspective criticism may be the best thing that ever happened to you.
I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have been publicly known since birth. Conversely, I doubt you can imagine what it must feel like to live an anonymous life. Even if you walked around daily in the white robe and the honey buns there is a large portion of the world who wouldn’t know you. Remind yourself of that when it feels like all eyes are on you. Also remind yourself that you climbed up there of your own freewill. C’est la vie!
…and about those men…show up in the robe and the buns and I’ll bet it will be they who are dragging their wives to your show. You are the wet dream of many, many, boys. How cool is that?
I loved your show and I think you are fantastic.
Please, please come back to Seattle again soon.
Carrie, I’m from Minneapolis and saw you speak at the O’Shaughnessy in St. Paul as the keynote speaker for the 14th annual Puzzle of Mental Illness program in October 2006. I covered the event for a website that I write for and spoke with you at the book signing after the event. I know Kevin Kling and have seen him perform since 1986 around the Twin Cities. I’m so glad you’ve had the opportunity to catch his show and now have been “Klinged” with inspiration. He’s extraordinary and truly a lovely compassionate fella. Since you’ve been to the Twin Cities off and on since filming Drop Dead Fred (your performance in this ah, “Fred” obnoxious film is great) back in fall 1989, I’ve been hoping you could bring “Wishful Drinking” to the Twin Cities. Any chance of this Wishful proposition becoming a reality? Also, Playbill writes that you are opening your show for the Roundabout Theatre Company at Studio 54 on Broadway September 22 thru January 3. Could you shed some of your ever witty light regarding the possibility of coming to Minneapolis and confirm the Broadway run? Thanks dear,
Michael
Welcome back, Carrie!
All the best, Maeve, Northern Ireland.
I am a big fan of Kevin Kling, as I live in Minnesota, he’s one of our local nonfiction heroes. Blogland is happy to have any word from Carrie it can get, and your fans have you on an RSS feed. Glad the show is going well and gladder to read that you’ll have time to write more for us soon.
pardon me if i misunderstood, but i got the feeling that you were comparing yourself to mr.kling (it IS a good name, isn’t it) and yourself…your shows, that is. i’ve seen kevin & he’s great……but SO not you. you can’t be everything carrie, only yourself. luckily, that’s a fabulous thing. keep tweaking & adding…then bring it to the twin cities so i can sit in the front row & cheer.
Glad to hear things are ok! Normally not hearing from someone so long, I’d start to worry, but in celebrityland I guess no news is good news, on so many levels… and I think you reading your own books is great. There are years of my life I’d remember nothing about had I not wrote it down/had other people present to tell me about it later… how convenient would it be if I could get those writings from the bookstore rather than having to search the office closet for random scraps of paper….?!
Take care and happy mother’s day
j
ps – congrats on the broadway thing… hopefully I’ll make it down at some point :>
Glad to see you back Carrie! Been missing your wisdom. Are you ready for Broadway?
Hugs,
G
Watched Empire today. Carrie was smoking hot. As 3P0 says to R2 “wonderful!”
Hello. I just saw your show a few hours ago here in Seattle. Loved it and had to squirm through some of it. Allow me to explain – I am a therapist in training ( a lifetime of training which will culminate in an actual master’s degree in June). More specifically, I am preparing myself to be a grief counselor. Having survived and processed my own depression and slew of losses, I laughed and cried (internally of course) through your amazing performance and ultimately wanted to give you a large hug. And so I write to give you that hug and thank you for “coming out” as one of the many who live, struggle, and “enjoy” (to use your words) bi-polar. Oh, and I’d also like to note that your picture was never in any of my textbooks. With much appreciation – Kate
The show was good. My girlfriend dragged me to it (well, not quite) and it was much better, funnier and real-life, than I expected. Your blunt reality was a welcome change from today’s choreographed what-you-want-hear tripe from our media and public icons.
This is a very strange period in history. And Seattle is an odd town, I’ve spent the past three years here and you’re lucky that it likes you, there’s a lot of word of mouth about the show. You’re a good counterpoint to the weirdness of the moment.
YES.
. . . having said that. . . nice to have you back. . . I’ve been drudging about in my own solipsistic quicksand of late so it’s refreshing to hear some like minded madness making sense.
In the latest issue of Newsweek, with the swine snout on the cover, there is an article you’ll find interesting about those diagnosed with “mental illnesses” choosing to end much of their medications, which they find useless, or numbing, or deadening, or whatever, and instead choose to face the dark tea time of the mind, when they do come, and reap from depression and what have you, there is to be gained, such as creativity, insight, deeper more intense emotions, etc. . . so check it out, because I’m just typing from memory so obviously details escape through the cracks like star systems through your fingers. . .
Also watch this from the brilliant Manly P. Hall. (real name too) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4588267849953509582
Brilliant man long dead, but very inspriational.
Love and Light, Jonathan by the Sea
. . . here’s a link to the article. . .
http://www.newsweek.com/id/195694
Welcome back, we missed you. Good post.
Wow, Carrie I just love to read your stories and ‘anecdotes’ – this blog is such a mine of food for thought so thanks for that!
Don’t worry about not posting in a while, I’ve been offline unfortunately for a few months which sucked but at least you’ve had an excuse and stuff to keep you busy busy busy (and it helps when you enjoy it as you seem to). I spent like hours yesterday catching up and wahey another entry already! you spoil your fans & we are grateful
Also after reading about your grandfather I hope the situation with your father is holding up at the moment. thinking of you,
Erickaxxx
Loved your show last night, my wife and I lauged about it all the way home. I hope that Seattle treated you nice as we do have some strange people and ways up here!
Larry
Carrie,
Thanks for coming to Seattle to help “fun up the place.” We are an odd lot, but we tend to blame it on the weather! Saw your show twice. Once with my daughter and last night with my husband. We all enjoyed it. My husband loved the “Things were getting worse faster than we could lower our standards” line. He can relate!
Break a leg on Broadway!
Janet
P.S. My mother lives next door and you’re right! It’s not funny!!
Dear Carrie,
Thank you for making my birthday! Yes, I’m that obnoxious ‘Angelina’ from May 8th in Seattle. Seriously? I was jacked up on three cups of Starbucks coffee provided by the theatre [I'm not much of a coffee drinker]. Anyway, during intermission I received a polite reprimand from a staffer working for the theatre. *gulp* -But, funny thing is, during that same intermission a kind lady engaged me in conversation and really enjoyed our ‘interaction’. Ha!
All I know is that you had me smiling ear-to-ear during your whole show…even through the sad parts. You are such an ANGEL! After your show ended, my husband and I walked out and a man asked if I was a ‘plant’…! Yep, that’s how GOOD you are with audience interaction. People actually figured I was part of your act. LOL!
Thank you for your kindness and patience with my overly eager self. Your show was the best birthday present I’ve ever had in my life!
My daughter (21) is spending Mother’s Day with me today so I better ski-daddle.
Have a wonderful Mother’s Day to YOU!
(((HUGS))),
Angelina =0)
Glad to see you back Carrie! I love reading all these stories about your family, family histories are such fun aren’t they? I want to wish you best of luck on your weight loss, it isn’t easy but if you set goals for yourself you can do it, you’re Carrie Fisher, I have faith in you! Don’t worry about trying to get back in metal bikinis (Let George L. keep it).
Brandy
The show last night was fabulous. My husband and I are “repeat offenders”–we saw the show for the first time two weeks ago–and we nearly died laughing at “Things were getting worse faster than we could lower our standards.” THAT is brilliant!
Enjoy not doing the show for a while–and Happy Mothers’ Day.
I hope you had a great run in Seattle and a great time! Seattle will miss you! I already miss you!
Good luck with the show in Detroit! Good luck on Broadway!
Happy mother’s day!
Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to slip into mom mode, even though if we want to get technical, I am young enough to be your daughter. You have to eat!!! Lol. Try and eat every few hours. I swear, it helps a lot. Ok, I’m done with the unsolicited advice that I am sure you already know.
I’m not a big recumbent bike fan. I am a treadmill girl. To have one in my apartment would be a dream come true. (lofty goals….) I am hoping I’ll be able to get one with my birthday money next month. Its like therapy for me. Grab the iPod, and shut out the world.
Oh, and I love your ‘huge 8th grade cursive’. Its hanging in my kitchen, and it makes me smile every day. I never liked my name, but seeing it in your handwriting goes a long way in accepting that maybe its not so bad. Weird? Maybe. But its true.
Solipsistic is a gorgeous word. And I love that you call them word arrangements. Very lyrical.
Anyway (word police!!!!), I hope you have a fantastic Last Show Day in Seattle/Mother’s Day.
Ericka
xo
solipsistic
had to google, over my head, but now i have a new word.
keep learning and growing and teaching and sharing.
happy mother’s day!
about damn time, I had begun to think you had come down with the Ann Coulter Flu and croaked on us..
Carrie,
What a treat your show was! Although I grew up with Star Wars and even did Leia impressions as an early, confused teen, it is your writing, wit, and hilarious candor that makes me a fan today. I came to see the person that wrote Postcards from the Edge, and her own mother’s acceptance speech at some awards show years ago. You’re interactions with the audience does create an intimacy, even in a big house.
Thank you again for your sharing your gift!
Now, I have a question which I’ve wondered about ever since I saw Drop Dead Fred: Did you write this dialogue:
“He’s an animal”
“Oh, in bed?”
“Well what do you think I mean, he shits in the corner and eats with his paws?”
All the best and apologies if they are in order,
Jason
Looking forward to seeing you in Novi Mi this weekend. You have been a inspiration to me ever since I was diagonsosed BP 14 years ago. It helped my kids to know other cool people were like me too.
I’m so glad you’ve written again. And, I can’t wait to see you in person. My sister and I are already planning our trip to New York to see you on Broadway! I gave her your book to read this weekend. We think you’re absolutely brilliant and hilarious. Thanks for sharing your life experiences with us!
Susie
Glad to see you back! Hope your Seattle run ended splendidly and that you had a great Mother’s Day!
It made my day, the image of you re-reading your own books and hoping nobody would catch you at it. I was all set to suggest that you go to an office supply store and get some of those stretchy cloth book covers that school kids use for their textbooks, but I imagine you’re probably done with your reading by now…at least in that particular hotel, at any rate.
You mention that your new goal is finding the ordinary in your extraordinary life, but to my mind, you already do that; your book-reading workout is the perfect example. Because it combines two things so many of us do ourselves: we read on the exercise machines (admittedly, I’m more of a cheesy home-video-workout person myself, but I’ve been known to prop books up on the TV screen for the more boring parts of the workouts).
And then there are those of us who write our lives down, whether in books or blogs or marble composition notebooks, and I’m betting they probably loved the notion of you re-reading your old writing because some of us – *pauses to point emphatically at self* – do it ALL THE TIME. It always seems a bit of a guilty pleasure – “My GOD, but I’m fascinating!” – which makes the whole “hope nobody catches me” moment you describe so recognizable, even for those of us who aren’t recognizable ourselves, and who don’t cleverly disguise our own journals as best-selling novels.
So while I’m naturally intrigued by the news that you’re tweaking your show – because that means new stuff, stuff I haven’t seen – I do think you’ve already got a great combination of out-there and in-here. Have fun tinkering, but rest assured you don’t need to change a thing!
Weird! Pancho Villa is the spitting image of my cousin Pete (5′-7″), living in the mountains of New Mexico.
Hi Carrie,
It’s nice to hear from you again. Congratulations on Wishful Drinking’s future appearance on Broadway! Wow, how exciting! I enjoyed seeing your mother in Parade magazine in Sunday’s paper. I am glad to hear that she is doing well and still performing!
Yay!!! I’m so glad you’re back in blogland…it’s been quiet without ya!
Craziness that your grandfather was robbed by Pancho Villa, and what an interesting view he took on it. Definately says something, ya know!
Also, I’ll see you on saturday at the Motor City Comic- thing in Michigan. Never been to one before, but to see you, I’ll brave it! lol.
Debbie D
Hmm…eating stuff that’s not bikini worthy huh? Sounds like you can take dieting to a whole new level. Princess Leia’s Metal Bikini Diet. If figured it out, here are the portions. Only the sustances that can be stashed in her (your) two buns (hair buns for those of you are thinking something else) is the daily allotment. Be creative. One might be suprised of what can fit. An older friend of mine ate salads for an entire week for lunch and dinner, and she still gained 3 lbs so you are not alone. I myself have been unsuccessfully dieting for a friend’s wedding, which is in two weeks. I gave up so I am searching for that perfect wedding outfit that will do wonders.
Wow, that is some story about your grandfather. I guess celebrity is a destiny for your family. Has your daughter thought about acting to carry on the tradition? Please don’t change your show too much. You are unique and should stay that way.
Hello Ms. Fisher,
I hear you met my friend Jay when he came to see your show. He bragged of getting two kisses from you. Jay played Gwynne in my script, THREE-TWO-ONE; I left a copy for you complete with a release when we saw your show, I hope you get a chance to look at it. Be that as it may we loved your show. You are very funny.
You can see Jay and others performing the script for Seattle Cold readers at
http://www.youtube.com/moviesbymoss
There are 3 parts to the 20 minute read, due to upload restrictions.
Looking forward to your next post.
Wendy, aka Gail Moss
I was once told that a child conceived in love had better chances in this world. This was unsettling for me as there was never any denying that my parents outright hated one another. Most children who grew up with both hosts present can at the very least recall one affectionate moment between the two. I, on the other hand, cannot. Now, I’m not complaining. I’m not mourning the complete absence of a normal childhood but rather stating that the order of things to come should have been apparent from the very beginning. My mother began her slow decent into madness not long after I entered this world. I am still uncertain if my arrival is tied into her departure from reality. But from a very early age, I learned that the world tends to present itself to you as you perceive it. I laugh. I laugh a lot. Ten years after my mother randomly tackled me in the kitchen and hopped on my face with a pillow in order to subdue me because apparently I was the dangerously insane one and I needed to be taken to a mental institution… I still fucking laugh. My parents gave me many things to laugh about. I didn’t laugh at the time but we can’t expect things to take the easiest and most profitable course.
“Are you doing sex yet?”… “Yes, mom. And I’m having lots of drugs.”
I am all of twenty-five now. I’ve been out on my own for over seven years. I have seen much of the world and have learned more about true humanity than I think I have ever cared to know.
I had the great pleasure of attending your show on May 9th. It was the highlight of my day. After having a horrible day which involved unjustly losing a job due to a sexist boss… well, it felt wonderful to be able to relate with someone on something…and someone that I highly respect to boot. You are a strong, beautiful and heartwarming woman. I know, that sounds like utter ass kissing bullshit but I swear by it. You are unlike any other celebrity. You are real. Thank you for a wonderful evening but, more importantly, thank you for allowing the world to see what a special person you are. Take care of yourself.
Carrie, this has been driving me crazy for two weeks: what does the Latin on the “frame” for the ‘Wishful Drinking’ set say?
(I really, really hope it’s one of your grandmother’s wisdoms.)
So is it just me, or is there now a third Ericka on here? Spelled the same way…what are the odds?
I say that Poncho Villa really got around. Some of his men in old Mexico took over my great-great grandfather’s small country store and kidnapped my great grand aunt. My father says that’s why my family came here to Los Angeles in the 20’s. I should totally blog about that and I hope you totally blog some more Carrie, great stuff!
really???? three of us???? Poor Carrie is going to get confused. I never met anyone who spelled Ericka like me before, and now there are 3 of us on the same blog!
You really ARE an Ericka magnet. That’s just cosmically weird.
Carrie,
Be kind to yourself! You look wonderful and you sound wonderful; you are wonderful. I started “Delusions” and that’s the last book of yours I haven’t read––I’ll miss your books and I hope you write another one soon… you can count on me as one of the thousands who’ll buy it. My husband isn’t gay but he sure sounds like Ray in the first part of the book. It’s challenging being with someone who is so kind and decent, which is odd, isn’t it? ––your fan, Joy * P.S. The Engineer of Elsewheres is a great buy. I mean guy. Maybe both.
Your way of looking at life is so inspiring. And, believe it or not, reading your words helps me better understand myself. We’re like the same person, you and I. Only, I don’t have famous parents and my mother was the one who left. But, bipolar, alcoholic….yeah, crazy.
I just finised reading your book “wishful drinking”-it was my birthday present- and I wanted to thank you for the way you explained what being bipolar is like. I have to explain it to my aunt all the time, and I think if I put it to her the way you said it, she’ll finally understand what I’m having to deal with.
So thank you for that. And for these blogs. You are the second funniest person I know of… the funniest person is a female impersonating-bartending-dj-ing friend of mine named Branden. He could give you a run for your money, but you’re prettier.
Keep on writing!! XOXO-Natasha
I I’m amazed that there would be people in your audience that were not laughing. I’d say Fuck ‘em is the best attitude. If they are not laughing then they are probably the Smokey and the Bandit/Dukes of Hazzard types. My Father and Sister used to roll on the floor laughing at the antics of the Duke boys as I observed in puzzlement. It’s a case of the Stooges vs. Chaplin – if you want to appeal to those folks have a car chase or have something heavy drop on your head. They are unreachable without some type of broad physical comedy. They need to go to a Jim Carrey movie. Don’t let it get you down.
Wow, someone mentioned a Leia slave girl Pony…now I’m going to have to add that to my collection…can it get any more bizarre than that?
C
Well, someone on here wrote a comment and signed herself “Ericka.” Unless that was “Ericka (the first one)” signing her name differently, that means there’s another one of us here.
I agree that it’s actually getting a little bit creepy.
Don’t give yourself such a hard time about being “gravationally challanged” shall we say. At heart im still the 175 pound kid iwas oh so many decades ago. We the few, the prod, the BP love ya ’cause your Carrie!
Make that proud. Not prod. Have no idea who the prod are.
Carrie,
Why don’t you get a twitter account so that it will be less time consuming. Plus, you won’t have to continually apologize for being M.I.A.
Not that I don’t enjoy reading your blogs (they are great and very enjoyable, same as you) It just might be easier on you at least while your on the road.
Great hearing from you! I hpw one of these days you will make it to St. Louis.
– Sarah
You’re terrific. Your writing is funny and brave. Yes, brave. Stunningly brave. And you are beautiful. Beautiful, brave and funny.
There are three people in Texas that read so come on to Houston on tour and the three of us will get our books signed and take you to dinner. Well, four from Texas because your mother reads your work so that makes four of us from Texas that read you loud and clear. Try out your Broadway show here first. Tough crowd but many more people love your work than the demographics suggest.
I have been MIB, too. I am studying for my Bar exam at 47 (this month) and so I can read your blog and my study materials and that is all for now.
Thank you for your books and jazzing scripts and being you because it matters.
Just finished “Delusions” and the later chapters, especially, are so moving. Your descriptions of Esme, when you finally see her. Your relationship with your mother. I wish I had that, but I could be close runner up to that person with at least one of my daughters, I think. The one I took to see Wishful Drinking. Memories of those early mom days really came rushing back. You are such an exquisite writer, Carrie! Brilliant and colorful, all the things I love. Thanks for another great book.
Hi Carrie,
I seen Your show in Seattle it was on that sat when that one chick really needed counceling.lol. I just thought I would tell you I thought you are very inspirational to people with our issues. You gave me another way to look at it. At one time you had asked the addiance sorry my spelling sucks, if anyone else had got invited to go to the mental hospital. I wanted to say yes but I was afraid of embarrassing my family. My mom hasn’t dealt with it very well she just thinks it is all for attention. I even had a Dr. tell my husband that there was nothing wrong with me I was just a glorified bitch. I just wanted to say thank you it was nice to hear my thoughts outloud for once. Can’t wait to see your next time your in town. YOUR AWESOME
No way, I live Smokey and the Bandit!!!! Beauford T. Justice, Big and Little Enis, Snowman, Bandit, etc
– It’s like a cat playing a mouse
– The mouse jumps this way and I grab him with my paw
– The mouse jumps that way and I grab him with my paw
– And then finally I SQUASH his ass!!!
(I have a lot of interests)
welcome back to blogland!
and thanks for validating my solipsistic behavior…lately i’ve been listening to my old bands while on the eliptical…kinda makes me wanna go very far, very fast lol
can’t wait for broadway!
Hello Carrie,
I found your book “wishful drinking’ in Borders one day – flipping through it you said you suffered bipolar and I thought yay a kindred spirit – so I ordered it for the library (I work in one) and waited till it came in. I knew you were a writer because I’d seen your book ‘delusions’ on the shelf. I looked you up in the catalogue and took ‘the best awful’ home to read. It had a picture of pills on the cover and I thought ‘this looks like Valley of the Dolls’. I remember reading it in (mental) hospital to pass the time once and thinking, those pills on the cover look exactly like lithium. I enjoyed ‘the best awful’ very much. It made me cringe, because the sorts of things Suzanne does and the way she thinks is JUST like how I felt when manic. I had this alter ego too, and she would do awful stuff, flirt with anyone, talk outrageously, and make terrible witticsms. She’d also get very high on sugar, which she pretty much abused in the same way as people do alcohol. (i’m sober now)
one of the scenes in the book reminded me of the time I was in hospital with all the crazy people in there, and one guy actually proposed to me. I was 20 years old. I was only in there for a week or so, and one night he paced up and down, came near me and asked me to marry him. I’d never even spoken to him before. But it was never meant to be because I feel in love with the doctor. He kept asking me all these questions, including ‘do you have a boyfriend’ and ‘what about dating?’ it was so embarassing because nobody had ever asked me such personal questions before. He got frustrated with me because I only gave him vague answers, as I was so flustered. So I told him I didn’t want my heart broken. He looked at me for a bit and I looked back and wham, I stupidly fell in love. He was good looking and seemed kind and caring, so off I was having fantasies about waking up next to him and getting diagnoses from him every morning, in a perverse, but classic mills and boon style.
He’d chat to me, all about what I wanted in life along with Erik Erikson and developmental psychology. I told him he sounded like a psychology lecturer to which he took offense, but clearly he was falling for me because of this stupid thing called eye contact. To this day I try to avoid this because I really don’t know how to deal with …love? chemistry? lust? After I got sane(ish) and got out of the hospital I would ring him up and ask about his theory of psychology..and I wrote to him, because..we really had something going on that I couldn’t explain.
I got a letter back from him saying he’d read through the lines of my letters and we couldn’t be in a relationship because we were doctor and patient. I was crushed. He also psychoanalysed me, saying it wasn’t wrong to experience desire and wrote he’d recommend psychotherapy. oh man..do I have to?
Years later I did go to psychotherapy (I don’t recommend it, you sit there and cry a lot and blame your parents etc, plus, it’s expensive, might as well write a book
but all I can say is..maybe when we fall in love its a kind of madness, but wouldn’t the world be boring if we didn’t? Nowadays I stay away from mental hospitals. Dangerous falling-in-love places they are.
Take care Carrie, and thank you for baring your soul in ‘wishful drinking’ I enjoyed it (especially the scandalous family tree) it isn’t fair really, because now it seems I know all about you but you know nothing about me but I thought I’d write something here just to redress that balance. I’m on my quest to overcome bipolar disorder – don’t you hate how it turns out to have the acronymn BAD? To this end I am trying omega 3 fish oils, brainwave meditation CDs and multivitamins, because I tried all the pills they ever invented, even ones for epilepsy and schizophrenia but nothing ever worked. I think you are very brave to undergo ECT, if I could wipeout my embrassing moments and traumas I would in a flash.
Thank goodness I found you, and finally theres someone in Hollywood who has written a book I feel I can relate to, I mean, compared to Shirley Maclaine you are totally sane.
Nice to “meet” you, Carrie (although I actually did interview you by phone a good number of years ago and no, I don’t expect you to remember it, ECT or no).
I haven’t seen your show, but I just finished reading the book, and I applaud your honesty and good humor. So many people only have one or the other.
Solipsistic? Try this on for size: I actually left on a lunch break from jury duty to get two copies of my own books out of my car, and read one the whole afternoon I was waiting not to be put on a jury. Then I left both of them on the table where people leave their reading material, because in the state of New Jersey, you can’t read and be on a jury at the same time.
There. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what I did. Don’t worry about re-reading your own books. And best of luck with the show and all other things.
Hey Carrie,
Loved the books and videos of your show. Too bad I won’t have a chance to catch it live or meet you since I’m in Singapore. Oh by the way, check out my Princess Leia collection haha.
http://s331.photobucket.com/albums/l442/dr34m1986/Princess%20Leia%20Collection/?albumview=slideshow
take care,
Barry
How do you spell the other flavor?
great history of Poncho Villa
Jonathan, I’m way too lazy to scroll up and read why you want to know how to spell the other flavor but here in australia we spell it like this *flavour*.
I hope that helps..
Will update more later:
CARRIE FISHER IS AWESOME! A COMPASSIONATE LADY.
She actually took a few moments to talk to me with a line probably six hundred deep to, after i told her that meeting her was #1 on my bucket list, because she was an inspiration to me-a fellow bipolar. It may not have meant much to her, but meant worlds to me.
What a great human being.
I have now listened to your “Wishful Drinking” Audio CD 4 times and enjoy it more each time. Fun stuff. Especially the Hapsburgs story, had to pull over on Beverly the first time I heard it as I knew where you were going. So funny.
“I wanted to have my DNA fumigated”, hehehehehehehe.
I’ve been a fan since “Postcards”, which I read in college in the 80’s and loved. Really enjoyed and admired your screenplay and the film even more than the book, and have enjoyed your commentary on the DVD several times as well.
The audio CD for “The Best Awful” was really fantastic, although harrowing.
The only book of yours I haven’t read or listened to yet is “Surrender The Pink”, but my curiousity has been piqued by the anecdotes on the “Wishful Drinking” CD. I was wondering what happened to the shape of Paul Simon’s face, now I know. I love how they blame you for facial deformities, homosexuality…..basically any ailment they now have or have ever had. Funny stuff. Actually it wasn’t you that turned him gay, it was your MEDICINE!!!! ROFLMAO. I know you could not make this stuff up, although I think Mr. Lourd had to have been kidding when he said it.
Thanks for all the great work. Keep it coming. Plan to read “Surrender” over the summer if I can find a copy online.
Michael
Why Carrie Rocks..
While for the bulk of us we first became introduced to Carrie through “those movies” LOL. It was not until after I got my diagosis of BIpolar some 14 years ago that carrie became more than just another Movie Icon.
It was a crushing blow to get the diagnosis, but somewhat of a relief to know that it was’nt just an idiot. When I was in the hospital after being told why I was so interesting, I was told that people like Byron, Poe, Van Gough and Alexander the great were all BP. Wow- all those people died like around 40 -how depressing I thought.
Then, after I got out i found out that Carrie Fisher was Bipolar too.
That meant something.
Why? Not because she was Princess Leia. (because that person does’nt exist-it was just a role people!) But because she was public about it, she didnt hide it she was who she was and she was out in public about it. And that made all the difference.
I satrted following her career more closely. And Carrie more closely. (not starkish closley- but as a person.) I noticed that she had highs and lows, manic moments and depressed moments weight gains. (I Hate depakote! never been below 200 once I got on it!) She talked about in interviews and had a take me as I am attitude.
When I realized that it was okay to be Bipolar (as long as I was responsible and took my meds) I told my wife (now ex) that i would only apologize once for what i put her through, because I didnt know then and was better now. I started allowing myself to write, and paint and have hopes to dream. I had always been told my dreams were unreasonable. Now I could focus and see what real dreams were.
I saw that carrie was dealing with her illness and becoming more than the Satr princess legend, but a writing tour de force in Hollywood. I thought, why the hell not? I can try too.
So it became my goal to meet her at least once. I did that saturday at detroit. Carrie you may rember me, I was the only dude not working there in a expensive formal suit. I told you you were #1 on my bucket list. (I think you cocked an eyebrow at that one, but who could tell behind your Ray-Bans. LOL) Yo took a moment asked how I was, and showed some compassion when I told you my ex-bailed on me because I suffered B.P. ( The fact she inherited a million dollars around the time had something to do with it I’m sure.) But you stopped the line for a moment and made me feel that you actually wanted to know how I was doing. It meant something. I’m 44 a pretty tough cookie and you almost made me cry, because you stopped for a moment just to touch base.
Thanks a whole bunch. Your cool Carrie.
And by the way, quite knocking yourself. Your beautiful just the way you are. Take care of yourself, to be sure. We all need to, but i didnt want to see the Gold bikini chick. I wanted to see Carrie. Princess Leia does’nt exist, Carrie does. And Carrie rocks.
“Our sojourn in Seattle ends on Mother’s Day. I don’t know if that’s a sign of some kind (many of you will become pregnant?)”
Oh, please GAWD no! I don’t no nuthin’ about birthin’ no babies!
I totally relate to what you are saying about celebrities wanting to feel like they seem. Wow, did I ever see that growing up! My father was a major league baseball player. My life had a dream like quality to it. It also had a “Mommie Dearest” quality to it. Our family was either “ON” or “away from the limelight.” For instance, if I opened the door and “Uncle Willie Mays” was standing there with home made barbeque we could act normally. Back when dad played for the New York Mets, if I opened the door to someone knocking and it was a fan wanting my father, Jim Beauchamp’s, autograph, or worse – A REPORTER, then the “ON” protocols were followed.
I remember all the banquets we attended where we, “the little chillin’ of the famous baseball players,” were dressed in our Sunday best and told, “DO NOT speak unless spoken to! Do NOT spill your milk! Just sit there and SMILE!” LOL
I totally rebelled from that sort of thing. Well, I think my bipolar disorder rebelled. I remember one big Bar Mitzvah party in New York City where the kids were placed in a separate “holding area” or mini party. I was on a MAJOR manic swing and got the bright idea during the “swinging statues” game where the lights were turned off and when they were turned on everyone froze. I totally disrobed while the lights were off and when the lights were turned back on? TOTAL CHAOS!
Needless to say, we were supposed to be “ON” that night, and “Daddy Dearest” was not happy. bwahahaa!
What is my motivation for writing this? Hmmm?… I think I just want you to know who is reading your blog and what makes us big fans of you, Carrie. I relate to you on so many levels. I’ve got five years, eight months and eight days clean and sober time – Thank G-d! I’ve spent lots of time in the psych ward fighting bipolar disorder, and I’m also starting to experience some success with my writing.
http://pushpull.wordpress.com/2007/12/28/jim-beauchamp-former-1973-ny-met-passes-away/
http://www.americablog.com/2009/04/saturday-morning-open-thread_11.html
http://www.americablog.com/2009/05/saturday-morning-open-thread.html
Anyway, just want you to know I’m a big fan of yours and I find you refreshing because I know where you are coming from when you talk about the strange world of “celebrity.” I’ve seen the weirdness, first hand, from the angle of growing up watching famous sports figures. Its funny, I told myself, “My G-d, I don’t want to live like this when I’m older!!!” but I do want my published songs and poetry to be read and heard. Thanks for speaking your truth, Carrie! Keep up the good work.
-Timothy Beauchamp
aka “cowboyneok”
Carrie,
We heard you were coming to Detroit May 16-17, but things came up and we couldn’t make it to see you. Maybe another time?
I really liked hearing about your grandfather’s experience with Pancho Villa. It brought back memories of when my grandfather would tell me stories of how his father joined a posse to track down Pancho after he raided a local town near Chihuahua, Mexico. They never did catch him, but it made for some great fireside family stories!
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful literary sense and talent, as well as your experiences. My eldest son has bipolar disorder, which has made life very difficult for his three siblings, my wife and I. Your books are an inspiration to us all!
We look forward to meeting you someday and thanking you in person – and take in your show!
Keep up the good work!
Phil & Yuko
Love ya C. F. <3
You know they have great book covers to slide over the book you are reading so that you won’t feel odd reading your own title. Not that you need to hide, but it’s the modern way of hiding a dirty magazine inside Homes and Garden. You have all the guilt but it’s hidden. Try one out- you’ll be amazed at how quickly the guilt dissapates!
Oh my god I LOVED reading the post from
Selina on May 15th, 2009 at 2:05 am
and I bet you did too.
Ain’t life grand?
To help with your celebrity theory, I thought I’d share our first shared brush with celebrity story. My boyfriend and I were in the Village early in the morning after enjoying a comedy show, and he was pretty drunk from rapidly consuming the two-drink minimum for both of us, as alcohol is not our chosen vice. We hit a quiet residential side street, where the only sound then was wet chunks being violently yakked onto the cement. As we departed from the mess, we spotted two guys rapidly approaching. My boyfriend was staring them down as a conditioned result of living in Manhattan, and of his drunkenness. As they pass by, we recognize them and my boyfriend exclaims loudly, “Colin Quinn!” Colin stops, smirks, and says “Yeah.” Then my boyfriend looks at the other guy and says, “Nick… Nick… Nick…” (desperately trying through his haze to recall the guy’s last name from the animated “Shorties Watchin’ Shorties” credits). Colin, perhaps having observed his earlier display at the end of the street, helps him out and says in a slow tone that he probably uses with a five-year-old, “DiPaolo.” We laughed and my boyfriend asked for a photo, and we still giggle every time we look at it.
Our later brushes with celebrities have similar comedic results. Oddly enough, often involving vomit. I threw up while waiting in line to meet one of the creators of the TV show for which I have a tramp stamp of, which threw a wrench into my plans. We also drove a Wookie actor around for hours during Star Wars Celebration IV looking for the Hollywood sign – in the dark! Ha, I look forward to the day that I get to meet you with mixed excitement and dread. Watch out for vomit. Kidding! I’d probably make you laugh… after my fake braid got caught on and yanked out by some poor passer-by. It comforts me that you used hair extensions while wearing the Leia costumes, too. Growing long hair takes too long!
Whatever heart your story-telling lacks, it more than compensates for in humor and presentation. I’m a fan. Anyway, best of luck with the show re-write!
Have you ever considered doing the Twitter thing?
I love you Carrie!
I know you’ll probably think “get a life” but it’s one of my pet hates (ok, I’m trying to get a life) but like a poor impersonation of Don Quixote, I rail against misplaced apostrophes. There is no need for an apostrophe in 50s or 20s as you did in your blog. When you’re wrting about plurals, 50s, 30s…etc, there is no apostrophe.
OK…I going back to my cave now.
Ciao
Joseph
I’m investigating Carrie’s blog today because I read her book last night after being intrigued by the title “Wishful Drinking,” it being the sort of phrase I’d hear in MY family. And you know what? Reading both the book and the blog was like spending time with the members of my kin… People who carry around a lot of pain but who are so witty and hilarious that I’d laugh until my head ached whenever I’d spend time around them.
So why does CF’s life and family remind me of mine? We have nothing in common except perhaps having to cope with over-the-top family history. I always wondered why my nine paternal uncles and aunts were so funny and outrageous and close-knit (and alcoholic) until I learned in my thirties that they’d been the pariahs of their community (Salt Lake City, Utah, one of the most conformist and socially conservative places to be found) because their father had gone to prison for murder and their mother had augmented her income in, uh, “unconventional” ways.* So the observation I have to share with the interesting Ms. Fisher and those who are interested in her is that, I think, coming from a showbiz family is like coming from a crime-ridden or scandalized family. Both situations put untold pressure on the offspring and are voyeuristically fascinating to the rest of the world.
My last little comment is that Carrie Fisher is much, much more entertaining and intelligent than any character she’s ever performed.
*Just to keep the record straight. My grandfather was a back-alley abortionist who had a patient or two die (meaning the almost-mothers). My grandmother was a “career waitress” who apparently indulged in hanky-panky, if not spanky.
Carrie-
I’ve been been trying to find a copy of your “Mr. Nobody’ and also, an audible copy of you singing “Loud.” I heard you do them on NPR a few years back and was dazzled.
I think they were quite wonderful!
Can you help?
Thanks,
Alice B
A brilliant post please keep going thanks
Thats a lovely blog post! I’m so pleased you decided to publish it.