technicolor tirade
By admin • Sep 19th, 2009 • Category: NewsHere we go again………
Now, not only am I googling myself, and even the occasional twitter fest (!shameless plug alert! Perez, i’ve just joined Twitter CarrieFFisher) they made me do that… Anyhow, I’m reading your blogs. Which for the most part are so kind that, if I were a crier, I would sob. Of course though, there are the exceptions, which I look for with feverish concentration and which pretty much ALWAYS pays off! Hooray! I sweep all these internet rips in the social universe for mines, eventually hitting (or getting hit) with pay dirt and exploding in a technicolor tirade.
A human named “The Judge”(charming name—–must get a lot of pussy with that one…..or ass), speculated that my “Weight and Wisdom” post seemed to indicate that I wasn’t a happy person. I seemed to be a kind of Boo hoo hoo fuck you type. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I pretty much have fun at some point every day. Now, you could speculate that that was because I was MANIC, and, in some cases, you would be right. And thanks be to whoever doles out the mood disorders—– I get the full meal of mania, to compensate me for the occasionally steep check! of depression! High Five!VERY High!
A reporter once asked me if I was happy now that I’ve given up drugs. And though I could give you a VERY thorough answer to that complex question, I responded, “Among other things.” Happy is one of the many emotions I find myself experiencing throughout the day. And, Lord love a fuck, I also can find myself pissed off! Oh woe is me once in awhile!
Life is not a Hallmark Card…….(unless we’re talking about the Sympathy cards, acknowledging some recent loss, or a goofy encouragement to have a Happy Channukah!”—–these cards DO tend to reflect life more realistically) I must confess to being happy fairly frequently. How do I know? Because I’ve spent blocks of time in the other swamp. And I’ll take the happy swamp every time. Not that I GET it every time. This doesn’t mean that I SKIP down the veritable STREET, (though I considered it earlier today—-and tragically suppressed my impulse)But I’ve earned my laughing jags that have brought me dangerously close to public humiliation. I had one just now at lunch on Madison Avenue, the other nite in the cab after that fashion show I told you about and in a SOHO restaurant my first nite here in New York. I also plan to be a teeny bit nervous when I do a rehearsal of my show in front of a bunch of humans tonite. I know that’s not the full range of human emotion, but I’ll probably visit most of the feeling sites over a period of a month. Like most humans with a head.
But do I consider myself unhappy or angry?? Only periodically, either when reminded that I no longer look young and hot, or when I experience some sort of loss —–or someone else’s grief ends up on my grid——when my rampant empathy picks up a friend’s pain.
So mister judge man, put that in your pipe and fuck it. My life brings me every kind of experience. The only thing I have control over is my attitude. Which, after a lifetime of exposure to, is pretty good……….I have more control over my attitude than my big, bovine, tiny dancer abdomen! And I’m prouder of the former than the latter.
That having been said, I’m heading to the gym now and hoping to high five a few strangers on the way! (or weigh)
In closing, I’d like to say that my IQ is dangerously close to my weight. And for those of you skinny folks out there, I hope the same isn’t true…….
xoxxooCF
Hi Carrie. I’m writing a book on the life of Kay Thompson that will be published by Simon & Schuster in 2010. I read a 1973 Dorothy Manners column item that said you were going to get vocal lessons from Kay Thompson for IRENE. If so, or if you have any other tales of Kay, I would love to hear more! Please e-mail or call me at 818-782-9691. THANK YOU! Best Wishes, Sam Irvin (my day job is directing movies and TV — you can find me on imdb.com)
If I saw you on the way to gym, I would totally give you a highfive. I hate when people start nagging about whether or not people they have never met are happy or whatever. First of all, what buisness is it of theirs? If they don’t like what you have to say, they don’t have to read it. I find everything you write witty and hysterical. I would give my left tit (well, no, my right one ’cause it’s bigger) to be as funny as you are, and, unfortunately, funny comes at a cost. To be happy at some people, you’re going to have to be not happy just so you have something to compare it to, right? I dunno, I’m writing in circles and I’m getting dizzy.
I guess what I was getting at is that Judge dude is a jackass. I don’t know what my IQ is, but if it were anywhere near my weight, I’d be in the Guiness Book of Records. Wouldn’t that be a trip. Isn’t mania fun? I’m getting ready to clean my entire house, from top to bottom, and I haven’t slept in two days and the damn thing is already clean. I heart mania!
First off, who the fuck does he think he is to decide whether or not you’re happy? I’m guessing that he’s projecting a bit too much there. Or maybe you can’t be happy because you don’t fit the mold of the skinny, big boobed airhead, oh noes! Some guys think that the measure of a woman is how attractive you are to them. *gag* Then again, he’s probably a prime specimen of humanity, himself.
Welcome to the time-suck of Twitter!
A reporter once asked me if I was happy now that I’ve given up drugs. And though I could give you a VERY thorough answer to that complex question..
Okay, let’s hear it. Which drugs are we talking about anyway?
I know you are an extremely intelligent person. It’s obvious. Now this is a sincere question: From whom do you think you inherited your smart genes? Have you traced your roots? Hope you’ll address this. Thanks.
Oh, I can’t find you on Twitter. Are you really there, or were you pulling our collective legs?
I can Twitter but no one cares about what I’m up to, so… lol
I just found your site and I’m enjoying it. I can relate to some of the things you touch upon, but not being a public figure, the insults and reminders of my not being perfect; no longer young, hot or desirable, are not put out there for all the world to see, but… Because of your public persona, at least you have fans who jump on board in support of you and take away some of the sting, so that is a big blessing. Suffering the slings and arrows of cruel words of discontent behind the scenes, with no one in your corner to rally round, can really do damage to one’s self image, not to mention self respect and esteem. lol
I hope you got to the gym and had a great kick off in front of the bunch of humans who came to watch you living out your life and, I assume, your dreams. It really is better then living in the shadows of those dreams, and life.
Have a good night and rest easy. Break a leg with the show!
I’m confused about what people want from you. You must be witty but not too sharp. You must stay as someone else images you to be. You must constantly be happy but you can’t use artificial means to achieve that. Basically you have to be a robot. Really? Because I kind of like you snarky and fun and honestly I don’t care about the bag as much as I care about the personality in the bag. To hell with everyone else.
I love reading your responses, Carrie. I wish I were as gifted a writer as you, so that I could properly express my admiration for the wit and brilliance of your words.
Keep on Twittering and Googling all you want (I guess), but only if it means more prolific sardonic blogs from you!
Respect,
Bruce
watching you in Garbo Talks right now on THIS TV in L A
Uh…let me get this straight…you have a good life, a lovable but screwy mother, a smart and beautiful daughter, a father that has finally got his shit together, lots of smart and caring friends …and your worried about what some schmuck thinks? oh man……I guess maybe because im almost 66 and have steped over or shoved aside assholes my entire life and not gave a whit about any of them that I can say with athority…who’ gives a shit about them?..I care that my grandkids love me, my friends are wonderful to me and care about me..and right up until they croaked all of my pets thought I was aces…None of these fuckers pay your bills, or really give a shit about you or your life..only reason why they are discussing it is because they don’t have one them ownselves..they are my dear…’buttroys’….If you want to lose weight to be healthier, do it..if you are health and not in perfect shape..who gives a shit..like my friend shady lane told me when i was whining about something ……..’build a bridge and fucking get over it.’…my advice to you
wow carrie you post blogs fast…no wonder you can crank out these books. You have lots to say and I love to read it. I have to pick up your books but I will confess I am so busy as a student at 45 years old that I don’t have much time for lesiure reading.
These judges of our human character need a good reality check. Sometimes a good manic spell can help clear out a whole lot of unfinished business. Why is manic considered a bad thing anyways?? it can lead to serious inspiration and excitment and make some tasks so much easier to handle. Happy street is a much better place to be too ..i can’t agree more. I really appreciate the way you let it all hang out and how genuine you are. It kinda boggles my mind. Hard to let it all hang out in Canada without being treated like a leper. I have been seriously thinking of trying to figure a way to move to the US…I think people are far more open minded down your way…its a really wonderful thing…although Canada does have some good points…like free, reasonably accessible healthcare.
Keep up the gym routine..I really have to start mine…life can be a lonely journey and its so much better when you have a little quality human interaction….right?
ps..loved the plug for your show “wishful drinking”..the part where you kinda fall over at the end…LOL
well conceived!…rock on…you will always be a true princess!
LOVE that last sentence!
The only thing twitter was missing was you. I’m B00kitty, in case you have an interest in such trivial matters . I hate that term – ‘following’ on Twitter. I do like having followers of my own, but I don’t like saying I ‘follow’ other people. I am an enigma. I love your twitter pic. Just remember, glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
You should get verified, if one of your magic makers hasn’t started that process yet. So many people pretend to be celebrities on Twitter. I worked for a rather high profile actress, (actually, she’s a friend of yours.) and someone was pretending to be her on there. Amazing how many people thought it was her.
I’m glad you seem to enjoy blogging and all that. I think the internet is a wonderful thing, for the most part. I was thinking about it today, and most of the people I talk to and see on a regular basis, I met online. A fantastic tool for finding like minded people. Its also lovely for procrastinating, which is what I am doing now.
and now i feel weird for commenting on your blog twice in one day. lol.
xo
Ericka
new york is great but i swear, Carrie, last time i was there it was so cold my teeth began to chatter so loudly people reported gunfire
(no need to be nervous onstage – your wit could pacify the sudan)
H Carrie,
lol
Re: the end of your previous post, Mr. Obama: if we are going to get national health care, at least let us make sure we get the health plan Congress uses. Then I think the majority of us will shut up about it.
Enough political speech.
Calling oneself The Judge seems arrogant in the extreme, unless he is an actual judge. But even so…..
I’ve just never understood the human need, the affliction, that cause certain of us adults to want to make others unhappy, even by telling us we don’t seem happy. Trying to tell another what to think and feel, seems counterproductive, when it is so much more fun to listen and learn, to look for the best instead of just expecting the worst.
Translation to the more cynical among us: blah, blah, blah…..
I want to say I now check this blog at least as much as I check Facebook, and I love Facebook1 The virtual cornucopia of sweet humanity I have found here uplifts me and warms my heart. And for what it’s worth, I’m a guy and I’m not much of a sobber either, but I think there is great release in just letting tears flow, which is why I like movies like Field of Dreams and such….and now, certain celebrity blogs.
Anyway I, the talkative one, find myself without much more to say…..for now.
Hasta la Vista
“…speculated that my “Weight and Wisdom” post seemed to indicate that I wasn’t a happy person. I seemed to be a kind of Boo hoo hoo fuck you type….”
I wish I understood why so many assholes out there think weight equates happiness, intelligence, social rank, etc., or the opposite of all those things if you are over what they consider an ideal weight.
And sadly, if my IQ were anywhere near my weight, I’d be some sort of weird all-brain (I almost wrote “all bran” and for some reason that strikes me as hilarious, when really, it’s probably not.), anomaly; sitting on some geeky professor’s desk, in a jar. And well, I don’t look good, covered in glass. In a jar. On a desk. Nope, it’s just not a flattering look for me.
As a human living with Bi-Polar, you have always been an inspiration for me when i was very ill. I just found your blog and thank you for being you, no excuses, no censor, just you. It is a refreshing change from most Hollywood handled personalities. And i do not look like i did when i was 20 and not on meds but i still like who i am
Ciao,
Steven
You said it all, Carrie.
Hooray for you!
Feelings are good. That’s why I blog.
God. If I could tell all my friends in improv class that Carrie Fisher read my blog, I would probably be transported to a level of geektastic glee that would last a month. You should post comments.
Or — wait a minute. I’d probably have an anyeurism from the shock. But then blog about it.
So yeah — there’s a really good chance that those Judgy VonBitchenstein critics are just too emotionally desensitized to realize that their own feelings are eating them alive.
p.s. you’re an amazing technicolor dreamboat
Carrie, I simply adore you…regardless of size or mood.
You make a very good point about the fact that most (if not all) humans experience a wide range of emotions during the course of their life. It’s important to acknowledge that. What really matters is our attitude, and what we do with what we have, experience, achieve, lose…
I’ve been on a extended job search that has been eating away at my self esteem, so your blog posts hit home for me. Thanks for reminding me that I am not defined by my successes, failures, aging skin or expanding waistline.
You are awesome. Pure awesome.
Boy, there’s no end to people that criticize you, isn’t there?
As long as you’re checking out blogs, mine is at Spartan Edge (www.spartanedge.com), an online magazine for Michigan State University. It’s called “Courtney’s Movie Blog” and if you had time, I’d be honored if you checked it out
I promise there are lots of nice things about you: I have Princess Leia on my top 10 best movie princess list, not to mention countless posts about “Star Wars” and “The Blues Brothers.” Speaking of which, I still kind of want to know why you preferred kissing Jake over Han…?
Anyway, I was happy to see another blog post — and on the same day too! Keep it up!
You know…I think we all wish we still looked young and hot. Not that I don’t think you look hot, but I’m gay so I am genetically programed to believe you are hot. Anyway… I do look back at some of my 20’s and 30’s pictures and think, “Where did that body go?” “Where did that smile go?” “When did gravy become a beverage?”
And then I remember that if I go back and get that body I probably have to give up these brains to get it. It’s a cosmic trade-off. I can be young and cute and make tragically stupid decisions, or I can be a bit lumpy, a lot more witty and make tragically boring decisions. Some days I am not sure which decisions I want to make.
I am fairly sure, most days, I don’t want to give up what I have now. Not that what I have now is that frigging awesome, but alot of what I had back then was a whole lot of insecurity and a larger amount of crystal meth. For some reason the younger, hotter brain thought do a garbage bag worth of meth each week would insure that I would always be young and hot. Not so much…
So to the “Judge” we can say, “Been there, was done by it, making new choices now. Sorry we forgot to run them by you beforehand. I will make a memo to beat the assistant later.”
Hugs and love Carrie!
Jeff
Now I gotta go and join Twitter, never saw a need to do so before now….BTW I’m about to leave the house to see Sorority Row.
Hi, Ms. Fisher,
I saw your invited dress last night and laughed so hard I needed to change my feminine protection. I have been in awe of your talent for opening your life up to all and sundry in such a brilliant and humorous way since PFTE. Coming from a terribly mentally unstable family myself (and being a peer, age-wise), I feel a bit guilty that your stories make me feel like I grew up in a Currier and Ives painting!
Thanks for your openness, and for your ability to make me laugh at myself and my crap as well as yours!
- Cy
Go Carrie. Really enjoying your blog and feistiness. Don’t let the f******s get you down.
I truly, deeply love you.
You aged? I didn’t really notice.
Seriously, can’t you get Joan Rivers’ surgeon’s number? You’re important. She’ll give it to you. Shouldn’t be a problem, right?
I adore you.
Damn, now I have to get on twitter. I hope your rehearsal went well yesterday!
Smooches, Sam
Carrie,
I have facebook and linkedin and have taken a stubborn stance against twitter. Though the “what are you thinking about” on facebook is certainly twitterlike. I just hate that name, “twitter”. I hate their bird graphics. I know, never say never but I am saying never.
–Joy
Heya, I found your site through a few links and thought I’d take advantage of the priviledge of being able to leave a comment to someone whose work I’ve enjoyed since I can remember. I had been researching to find a copy of the Holiday Special for a while, and read that you had obtained one for a bad movie night (a custom I maintain myself!) I’m going to head to Ebay for a copy of the Special, and I swear I won’t think any less of you after seeing it. Now, if you’d appeared in some of the others I’ve gotten ahold of it’d be different, but thankfully you were never in “Snakes On A Submarine” or “Raptor Island” Have you seen either of those? Really priceless stuff!
I’ve been depressed since I found myself in first grade. I had panic attacks in elementary school and anxiety oozed from every pore. I had a nightmarish school career (you couldn’t really call it that) and ended up the a GPA that only George Bush could comprehend. I missed most of high school. I was at the mall, on the public bus, riding shotgun with a friend to HER dentist appointment, anything to avoid the horror that was school. Imagine my surprise when I found out I had a decent I.Q.?! Now here’s the point where I can again empathize with you. I was 5′8″ and 145lbs and couldn’t wear contacts. I don’t need to tell anyone that cute and spunky was popular in school. You were already ahead of me. So, in the 70s, when the kids were wearing platform shoes and popping in colored lenses, I was hoping the earth would open up and suck me under. So, I understand where you’re coming from. But I learned a long time ago that NO ONE IS PERFECT, EVER! The people who are spending their time trashing others are probably the messes of yesterday who are still bitter and don’t know how to come to come to terms with their own inadequacies. That is truly sad.
Bah! You’re just a passionate person. It seems that whenever I lose my temper and sprout off a few curse words, I have people thinking I’m a generally miserable person. I don’t know why they need to make that assumption when it’s not true at all. I might be miserable at the time I’m going off on my tirades but that’s generally the point of them. You don’t rant because you’re smiling. You rant because you’re fucking pissed off. Continue kicking ass.
<3
Hey CF,
Love your work! Just now watching the Star Wars Trilogy on TV and remembering how WE ALL used to look so young, thirty years ago!
It is very true that the only thing we have control over IS our ATTITUDE. I’ve had to give myself an attitude adjustment just about every week lately! It is easy to get sucked into misery, the worlds financial disasters and life’s general tragedies (whether it is happening to us or someone else we don’t even know!). Considering all you have experienced I would say you have done extremely well and have handled life the best you can. If you could have done it any other way, you would have.
Just finished reading Best Awful There Is and again was blown away at your talent. I loved Wishful Drinking and shared it with my mother, several friends (and co-workers). Your wit is incredible and contagious. We all enjoyed the book and are truly amazed at your resilience.
I wish we could see your show in NY but we live in San Diego, CA and just can’t swing the trip! Cheers and break a leg!
Christian
Carrie you will always be a true beauty – you’ll NEVER be conquered in that respect.
Your books have been an inspiration, and your ability to persevere with such honesty through a tumultuous life makes you shine with even more brilliance. I wish you continued love and success!
Carrie,
My 17 yr old daughter showed me your weight and wisdom blog … now I’m hooked. I love how you put things in hysterically accurate perspective, lady! I was somewhat acquainted with you as a youngster growing up in BH and at ER school. I’ve really admired how your career developed after Princess Leia. Tho’ I’ve never been a public figure/celebrity myself, my dad was in the biz … growing up and living in the Hollywood soup, I have a real good idea what it’s like to live under constant public scrutiny. Glad you’ve got this venue to scrutinize right back and entertain us all at the same time.
Writing this has shaken some memories out of my memory tree … and damn! You’re such a storyteller, and I have 3 fun stories about YOU that I’d like to share only with you. Actually one is a sweet and true tale about your mother. I will look around to see if there’s somewhere to send a direct msg, or next best, maybe snail mail via your publisher?
Good luck with your show, and please don’t ever shut up.
Tina
There are still a few places in the city where you don’t get arrested for skipping and laughing jags. The Upper East Side is not one of them. (Madison Avenue!)
Even though the West Village has been largely debauched by the sex&thecitification and the tourbuses & the parade of celebrity prams, try the corner of Greenwich Street & Charles (where the tiny house is), or the lowest deck of the Staten Island Ferry (especially where the cars were pre 9/11)…. come to think of it, there’s very good skipping to be had in Staten Island – Silver Lake Park, for example.
Too bad you don’t have the magic shield of anonymity.
K. Smith too has spoken about skimming over the praise to find the one ugly blog, and spending his precious time arguing with someone who has questioned the beauty of his wife’s ears or trashed his films.
If anger is the flip side of fear…..or: anger turned outward – aggression
anger turned inward – depression
anger turned sideways – humor
the judge might have given you the requisite ammo for the salutary detonation, with it’s falling sparks of saving wit. And we scavenge among the throw-away embers of these fireworks for our own eureka keepsakes. The Daily Star, the Daily Bread.
I would receive, an’ it please you, a few of the blog-beach seashells of empathy, and the hard-earned marbles of grace,
and the little kudos both slick and homely,
so you have a few in-pocket touchstones of the Mercy when you’re out there on the cutting edge of the Audience Ocean.
lest you feed only that ravenous wolf within, o brave Little Red Riding Hood.
with moxie & myrrh and the showbiz merde!
I think you need to be a little nuts to be happy. Having a stick up your ass just can’t be comfortable so how could you be happy with one lodge up there?
You are incredible! Someone else wrote a blog about the blog Perez Hilton wrote about this…which just shows how many people are inspired by what you wrote. I’m 39 years old and spent much of my 30s at the gym, fighting Mother Nature. I’ve come to the point where I realize, there’s a time when you choose to develop inwardly, rather than outwardly. I’m so tired of these bubbleheaded women running around in leggings and lace skirts, trying to look 20 when they’re 53. It looks pathetic. Age gracefully, I say. Put down the Botox and look internally.
To me, you seem to be someone who is very intelligent and full of depth. I don’t get that same impression from many of the actors I see in Hollywood. The ones who were “hot” in the 70s are now either doing everything they can to hold it together, desperately trying to still look like they did then, or they’ve retired from the spotlight altogether. I don’t see anyone trashing Susan Anton or Goldie Hawn. Mostly it has to do with the fact that you were the fantasy woman of every man of my generation. So, like the rest of us, you’re forever expected to live up to Princess Leia in a gold bikini. Unlike you, though, most of us NEVER were even close to that beautiful…so there’s solace in that! But your credentials stand on their own…let these people accomplish half the things you have in your lifetime. Then maybe they can talk.
hey carrie. cool blog. might i suggest turning “permalinks” on in wordpress? its under “settings”. that way the URL’s in the address bar wont have that ?p=491 thing. just a friendly suggestion.
“are you happy now that you’ve given up drugs” sounds like a question from someone who has never done drugs (or is a reporter for the “just say no” nancy reagan program)…
i didn’t do a whole lot of drugs, but i remember that drugs are enjoyable, checking out of reality is sometimes a blessing…sometimes i think i would be happier if i started smoking pot again and maybe even tried heroin!! but hey, i guess the point is there are better forms of happiness besides chemically altered moods, so they say.
ps …i AM happy now that i have stopped giving a damn what people think…that is a happiness i can quantify.
I love you Twitter “bio”… I guess 160 characters isn’t really a bio, but you make it work.
I got the complete opposite from your Weight and Wisdom blog than what this judge fellow or other did- someone who could manage to convey the whole situation in such a funny way certainly isn’t an OH MY GOSH I’M SO UNHAPPY ALL THE TIME person.
People are just weird.
I read a piece in the Globe and Mail this weekend by Elizabeth Renzetti which mentioned that you had a blog- just wanted to stop by and let you know that your attitude is really wonderful. I loved your post Weight and Wisdom; as a health writer I think it’s fantastic that you’re writing about these issues. We need more women acknowledging body image and the problems that everyone faces. It’s admirable how much of yourself you’re putting out here for the world to see- thanks for being so honest, Carrie.
I’m glad you joined Twitter. Very cool. I’m following you on there now…I’m the person who said something about the screenplay you & Meryl wrote. It’s a fun site. Oh & I see you’re gonna be on the Today Show this week. I just saw your Craig Ferguson appearance on youtube the other day & thought it was great. You looked great & you & him are so funny together. He’s the funniest late nite guy.
Hey Carrie, just wanted to say a thank you for writing an entry like this. I know you wrote it personally for yourself and not others, but as someone who suffers from depression it is nice to see someone make the point that a mental health/depressive condition does not mean that people cannot have fun or be happy. Too many people are ignorant of what it actually means to have something like that, they assume it’s as simple as being unhappy all the time. That’s just one part of it. So thank you and *hugs* because what you’re going through it hard enough without being in the public eye. Just remember you’re not alone.
Carrie, humans do not see weight or one dimensional internal states. We see each other. The animals who are all ripped up inside have to rip everyone else up so they can see anything at all. Otherwise, the world would look like a fun house mirror distortion to them.
I can’t find you on twitter either. Is this a test? I flunked.
Im very sane about how crazy I am, I believe that’s your line
I adored u on screen in “Sorority Row” u were spunky as always and a really god perrfomance.
Love u just the way u are, good on u for telling the obnoxious Internet users to go blow ur something bovine.
Your the BEST
with affection & admiration
Adrian(Sydney, Australia)
Wish I could afford to see ur Show on Broadway (but at least I have ur wonderful book of Wishful Drinking!
xoxoxox
You rock, Carrie! I love the line about my IQ is dangerously close to my weight-I can think o a few diet Nazis I’m gonna use it on. I may not be able to give you credit in the heat of the moment so I’m thinking you here!!
Having just stumbled across your blog, I find you to be a very intelligent and humorous person. Not that i think you do anyway – but dont stress people like this “Judge” who have such a surplus of free time on their hands, to sit and cast judgement (pun intended) on people as successful as yourself. Keep on keepin’ on!
“In closing, I’d like to say that my IQ is dangerously close to my weight. And for those of you skinny folks out there, I hope the same isn’t true…….”
You’re officially my hero now.
Best regards from Buenos Aires
Goldie
Hi there,
I was once young and fit in the Navy even, but got sick with bipolar and subsequently had a psychotic break while very very manic. Fast forward 11 years, I am bigger to say the least, these thrice damned meds which keep me sane as they say have made me pudgy no matter how hard I work out. For me, I’ll take the trade off any day not to go back to loony land. I’ve had many more psychotic breaks when the meds I was on stopped working, or I decided I was “cured” and quit taking them. Anyway, I’m older now, and I hope wiser. The chronically normal folks in my family don’t completely understand my illness, but they tolerate me and love me just the same. As for ‘The Judge” , when he has been where we have, and come out on the other side, then he can talk, until then, he is simply an ignorant spectator. I’ve been places and seen things in my mind he couldn’t imagine in his worst nightmares or his most amazing fantasies. Such is the beast. Cheers Carrie, keep on going you’re a class act!
Peace and Happy New Year Chris
I think you are beautiful you don’t have to be a size 4 to be hot. I am a small person but I think beauty comes in all sizes and you are beautiful and I really don’t consider you fat. Ignore the critics. I have had many harsh things said to me it hurt none the less but I have come to believe They must be jealous or stupid.As for your reporting on happiness I am a drug addict I you present tense with a purpose because in my case no matter how many days months years of being sober I still feel like I am a drug addict and no matter how much time passes I still think of ‘using’(I hate that term) but if I were asked if I am happier now that I have quit drugs my anwer would similar to yours because most days I am happy but i get depressed and mad but does everyone even people who have never tried drugs. Thank Carrie for your comments and books and not being afraid to talk of “mistakes” and choosing the road less taken or nowadays more taken just not popular. I read your other blog and I am a blonde with blue eyes and I have learn hate comes from all shapes,sizes and (hair)colors
Pleas keep writting your books are great I haven’t read them all but I plan to you have a wonderful and you are a beautiful woman (now and before)
@Amy, I agree with you Amy, people are soooo caught up in the superficial “edited perfection.” That’s not sexy at all. Sexy comes from within. Proud of you for your sobriety as well.
-KT
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. My name is Barbara Law, I am the Latino Coordinator for the Mental Health Asociation in Greensboro, NC. I was diagnozed with Major depression and like you drank to numb the pain, but what I wanted was to die. I had 9 suicide attemps and now I do suicide prevention,,,,divine order, Our agency is a non profit and every year they take more money out when we need it the most. This economical crisis has left everyone hurting. We need to end the Stigma of Mental Illness. We need to tell people that is the same as having cancer, the only difference is that with Cancer you get the cards , the balloons, people cook for and take care of your kids. With major depression, they take everything away cause you are a bad mother and you end up in the street. I would not change anything in my jorney and I guess what I am asking you is if perhaps you would consider speaking of your experience in one of our future conferences. We are a small group trying to do the best we can with what we have…..again thank you for your story! love & light Barbara Law
I’m definitely going to be quoting your remark about weight and IQ in my blog. And probably in real life as well. That just made my day. Thank you so much for being the wonderful and brilliant person you are, you are always a breath of fresh air.